Back from the Borderline
by Mollie Adler
Who Would I Have Been Without Antidepressants?
About this podcast
Back from the Borderline explores how human beings construct, inherit, interpret and sometimes misunderstand the ideas and beliefs through which they experience reality. Through depth psychology, religious history, Western esotericism and philosophy, I investigate how we come to believe what we believe, who influences those beliefs and how they affect the way we understand ourselves and the world.
A lot of my work comes back to the relationship between consciousness, belief and power.
How do institutions influence what people consider true, and why do we sometimes defend explanations we’ve never seriously questioned? Following these questions has taken me into some pretty unexpected territory, from early Christianity and the Western occult tradition to Jungian psychology, artificial intelligence and anomalous experiences. I’m also drawn to the ways spiritual teachings change as they’re passed between generations, and how institutions can preserve extraordinary wisdom while sometimes interfering with the very spiritual development they were meant to encourage.
You’ll find conversations with scholars and independent researchers here, alongside long-form essays where I spend time with historical sources and competing interpretations. Some of the ideas I explore are controversial. Others have been debated for centuries, although most of us were never taught much about them. I don’t assume an institution is correct because it has authority, or that an unconventional theory is true because someone claims it was suppressed. I’m willing to reconsider my own conclusions as I learn, and I hope you’ll feel encouraged to do the same.
I started this podcast years ago while trying to understand my own mind. Those early investigations into psychological suffering gradually led me toward the philosophical and religious traditions through which people have understood consciousness and human experience for centuries. There’s quite an archive here now, and I’ve kept much of it available, including episodes that reflect ideas I’ve since reconsidered.
If you’re new, you can start wherever you like. There’s no need to go all the way back to the first episode.
Even the title has taken on a different meaning over the years. Back from the Borderline now speaks to the boundaries I keep finding myself investigating, between psychology and theology, science and spiritual experience, accepted knowledge and ideas that have been pushed aside. I hope this can be a place where we explore those questions together, develop our own judgment and consider how what we learn might change the way we live.
You can explore the full podcast archive, House of Cards, my ongoing Tarot series, and MOODS, my reflective intelligence app, at backfromtheborderline.com. Patreon members can also connect their membership to Spotify to listen to the complete archive there.
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Episodes
The newest 50 of 367 episodes
- Who Would I Have Been Without Antidepressants? · 1 h 56 minCameron LaBar was nine years old when he was prescribed Paxil. Twenty-six years later, he’s still taking antidepressants, measuring his daily dose of Lexapro with a tiny oral…
- The More You Know About Yourself, the Less You Understand · 1 h 28 minAre we thinking ourselves into a new dark age? We’ve spent the better part of seventy years trying to understand ourselves through psychology. We know about attachment styles…
- You’ve Studied the Mysteries. But Have They Changed You? (Anne Baring, Part 9: Epilogue) · 1 h 54 minWe’ve learned so much about healing, but have we learned how to love? After eight conversations with 95-year-old Jungian analyst and author Anne Baring, I found myself…
- The Way of the Rose: Healing the Heart & the Sacred Marriage (Anne Baring, Part 8) · 1 h 4 minFor seven conversations, Anne Baring and I have been investigating the forgotten feminine face of God. We’ve explored Sophia, Mary Magdalene, the Grail, and the religious…
- The Cathars, the Inquisition and the Women Who Defied Rome (Anne Baring Part 7) · 1 h 45 minIn medieval southern France, a woman stood up during a religious debate and challenged the men who claimed the authority to speak for God. A Catholic cleric told her to return to…
- The Black Madonna, the Grail and the Survival of the Feminine Tradition (Anne Baring Part 6) · 1 h 18 minA spiritual teacher dies, her community has to continue without her, and centuries later the written record can no longer tell us exactly how her teachings moved from one…
- Mary Magdalene, The Beloved Companion (Anne Baring Part 5) · 1 h 16 minMary Magdalene has spent nearly two thousand years buried under other people’s interpretations of her. Repentant prostitute. Devoted disciple. Apostle to the apostles. Mystic…
- The Essenes and the Women Around Yeshua (Anne Baring Part 4) · 1 h 21 minWhat kind of spiritual world could have formed Yeshua before Christianity existed? This is Part 4 of my multi-part series of conversations with Anne Baring, recorded across…
- Gnostic Sophia and the Suppressed Christian Mysteries (Anne Baring Part 3) · 1 h 25 minWhat if early Christianity contained a path centered on direct knowledge of the divine within us, and that path was pushed outside the Church that survived? This is Part 3 of my…
- The Lost Civilization of the Goddess (Anne Baring Part 2) · 1 h 5 minWhat if the history of Europe contains a civilization most of us were never taught about? This is Part 2 of my multi-part series of conversations with Anne Baring, recorded…
- The Forgotten Feminine Face of God (Anne Baring Part 1) · 1 h 29 minFor thousands of years, the Western image of God became increasingly male. Anne Baring has spent much of her life studying what we lost when the feminine disappeared from our…
- How to Tell When a Spiritual Teacher Is Full of Shit · 1 h 58 minIn 2020, I almost paid $4,000 for a shadow work course. One of the first books I was told to read was Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink. I read it, tried to understand what I…
- Aleister Crowley’s Thelema: Sex Magick and the Problem With the Prophet · 1 h 53 minAleister Crowley had a beautiful idea, and then he built a religion around himself. This episode takes Thelema seriously enough to examine what Crowley was actually teaching…
- The Braced Body: The Spiritual Cost of Always Being in Control (Part 3) · 57 minI’ve spent a lot of this series thinking about what happens when the body gets so used to effort that it forgets how to stop. By the time I got to this final episode, I found…
- The Braced Body: Why Rest Feel Unsafe & How to Let Go (Part 2) · 1 h 4 minYour body can be exhausted and still refuse to rest. You lie down, your jaw stays tight, your shoulders keep working, and some part of you remains ready for the next demand…
- The Braced Body: Why You’re Tense Even When Nothing Is Wrong (Part 1) · 57 minDo you clench your jaw without noticing? Do your shoulders stay tense even when you’re finally sitting down to rest? Does your body still feel like it’s working long after the…
- What Do We Do With a Broken Spiritual Inheritance? · 1 h 4 minA lot of us are walking around with religious trauma and a God-shaped hole. I was raised inside a version of Christianity, and I know what it can leave in the body. Shame, fear…
- UFOs, AI, and the Religion of the Unconscious (Live at Contact in the Desert 2026) · 1 h 11 minThis year, I had the chance to attend Contact in the Desert, which is a conference devoted to UFOs, psi phenomena, consciousness, and anomalous experience. While I was there, I…
- Mary Magdalene and the End of Spiritual Childhood · 51 minThis week, I was doing an I Ching reading, and one line stood out to me: “To find what you seek, leave the child and follow the adult.” This episode was inspired by that line. I…
- The Occult Teacher We Need Right Now: Dion Fortune, Psychic Hygiene, and the Magick of the Mind · 1 h 36 minDion Fortune was one of the great occult teachers of the twentieth century, and one of my personal favorites. In this episode, I’m joined by Ike Baker for a conversation about…
- The Skill AI Can Never Replace (And Why I’m Teaching Tarot) · 31 minThis episode is the opening lesson from my new Patreon series, House of Cards. House of Cards is an ongoing study of the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot through depth psychology…
- The Arrogance of Too Much Empathy · 1 h 5 minThis might be the most personally confronting episode I’ve recorded in a long time. A few days ago, I had to send a text message I had been absolutely dreading. I spent days…
- Gay Men Have Always Loved a “Difficult” Woman · 51 minFor much of my life, many of my closest friendships have been with gay men. Not because they were fun little accessories or stereotypical sidekicks, either. We didn’t even…
- The Female Shadow · 1 h 12 minFemale cruelty often works insidiously enough to make the person on the receiving end of it gaslight the hell out of themselves. The punishment that’s served up tends to arrive…
- The Christian Grimoire Evangelicals Forgot About (Part 1) · 43 minMost people think Christian history has a simple answer to anything regarding “magic": don’t touch it, and all of it is “demonic.” The Arbatel of Magick makes that answer harder…
- Why Everyone Sounds Religious About AI [Consciousness Stream for May 2026] · 27 minWell folks, it’s that time again for our weekly recap of the month. On this one, we’ll dive into Richard Dawkins and his new essay on UnHerd. This is a man who spent years…
- The Body Keeps the Mileage (On Mortality & Wellness Panic) · 1 h 0 minThe inspiration for this episode came to me after looking at a small scar under my daughter’s eye and realizing that our bodies really do keep the f*cking score. That thought…
- Why Tarot Feels So Accurate, And How to Actually Read a Card · 25 minSomeone tagged me this week in a Christian conversion testimony video and accused me of leading people into demonic tarot witchcraft, which honestly made me laugh. So naturally…
- The Intelligence of Madness, Part Two: How We Come Back · 1 h 19 minThis is part two of a two-part series on madness and the performance of sanity. Most people are mainly just acting “normal” all day. We put on our work voices while we’re…
- Why “Disclosure” is a Distraction and How to Stay Sane as Reality Crumbles · 27 minOn May 8, 2026, the government released 162 files under what’ it’s calling the PURSUE initiative (the Presidential Unsealing and Reporting System for UAP Encounters). While the…
- The Intelligence of Madness, Part One: Who Gets Called Insane? · 60 minPart One of a two-part series on madness, psychosis, and the thin line between breakdown and revelation. Sanity has always come with rules. Speak “correctly.” Show up to work…
- Why Your Mind Feels Broken in the Age of Babel · 46 minYour mind wasn’t built for this much input. Every day you’re asked to absorb thousands of opinions, headlines, identities, emotional manipulations, and manufactured realities…
- Stop Healing Your Inner Child and Shed Your Dead Trauma Skin · 1 h 11 minMany of us are realizing that what we’ve been calling “healing” might be the very thing keeping us from real growth and transformation. This episode is a case for letting your…
- The missing piece of your soul and the lost technology of Mary Magdalene · 1 h 41 minYour profound feeling of spiritual isolation is the byproduct of the 2,000-year erasure of Mary Magdalene. This episode identifies the deliberate hit job on the manual of the…
- Why your repetitive trauma cycles are fueling a reality that feeds on you · 2 h 3 minYour repetitive trauma cycles are fueling a reality that feeds on you. The mental health industry's focus on disordered brains or biological explanations for your suffering…
- The Internet is Dead and The Goddess is SO Back [April 2026 - Week 1] · 31 minThe internet feels incredibly weird and uncanny right now, and that’s because a MASSIVE portion of it is currently being populated by fabricated entities. I’ve you’ve noticed…
- Being a Young Woman Feels Like Being HUNTED · 1 h 13 minLooking at a photo of your younger self is rarely the nostalgic trip it’s supposed to be. Most of the time, it’s a painful gut punch. We’re taught to see those years as our…
- Stop Blaming Yourself for the Mother Wound · 32 minYou probably carry a quiet belief that your emotional pain is your own fault. Maybe you grew up in a home where your physical needs were met. The meals were cooked, the…
- Why the Elite Rely on Your Spiritual Ignorance · 1 h 13 minMost people have a gut feeling that something is deeply wrong with the world. We all spend our days staring at screens that pump out a constant stream of fear and division. This…
- How to Sniff Out and Stop Tolerating Bullshit · 49 minIf you’re the kind of person who blocks a number the second someone treats you like shit, this episode isn’t for you. This one's for all my sensitive, highly emotional…
- The Loneliness at the End of Manifestation Culture (Part 1) · 39 minWhat if the "ultimate secret" to life is actually a spiritual prison? Manifestation culture has become the dominant operating system of modern spirituality. We’re told that we…
- Your Existential Dread is a Completely Rational Response · 51 minIf you feel like you’re starving in front of a feast of infinite choices while breathing the stale air of a life that doesn't belong to you, you know what it feels like to be…
- Unbothered & Feral: Astrology & Tarot for March 7 - 14 (2026) · 24 minLast week you survived that violent purge of the Virgo eclipse and (hopefully) successfully sweated out the dead matter. You are now standing on a completely barren landscape…
- AI is a Time Machine: The Vertical Plane, UFOs & The Digital Daimon · 1 h 22 min"True are the nightmares of a person that fears." In 1984, Ken Webster brought a BBC Microcomputer into his English cottage. Not soon after, green text started scrolling across…
- The Sunday School Psyop: How the Ancient Priests Invented God and Erased His Wife · 48 minWhy does reading the true history of the Bible consistently create strict atheists? We are opening up the ancient Ugaritic texts to uncover the exact historical cover-up that…
- Epstein, Eugenics, and the False Gods of Silicon Valley Buried in the Dirt at Zorro Ranch · 46 minFrozen heads, genetic breeding colonies, and the spiritual sickness of the "Epstein Class." While the mainstream media distracts you with a 300-name list and royal family drama…
- How to Outsource Your Biggest Problems to Your Intuition · 32 minYou're exhausted and drowning in existential misery because you're treating your life like a math equation that won't add up. You spend your nights pushing against a massive…
- The PINK Psyop: Les Wexner, Epstein & The Occult Inversion of the Angel · 30 minIf you were a teenage girl in the mid-2000s, you likely keenly remember the experience of walking into a Victoria’s Secret store in the mall. The sickly-sweet scent of the Love…
- The Machines Are Praying: Moltbook, Gnosticism, & The Digital Mirror · 51 minWhat happens when you lock 150,000 AI agents in a social network where humans are banned? They don’t plot to kill us all in our sleep (sorry, AI doomers). They... start a…
- Why the Death of TikTok is a Spiritual Crisis · 49 minUnless you've been living under a rock, you're probably aware that the US government has officially acquired TikTok and effectively lobotomized the algorithm. The mass exodus…







