Bitch Bible
by PodcastOne
Latest episode
Bitch Bible Classics: Dr. Schimmel - Breaking Dawn, Pt. 2
Bitch Bible Classics: Dr. Schimmel - Breaking Dawn, Pt. 2
About this podcast
A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.
Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.
Episodes
The newest 50 of 636 episodes
- Bitch Bible Classics: Dr. Schimmel - Breaking Dawn, Pt. 2 · 44 minIt's music to your ears - Part 2 of our latest Dr. Schimmel session. Prepare your Lexapro prescription pad and a stiff drink, because some bitches are about to get TOLD.Thanks…
- Bitch Bible Classics: Dr. Schimmel - Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1 · 1 h 2 minJackie's taking two weeks off waiting for demon seed #2, so Dr. Schimmel is in session and she is not holding back. Tune into some bitches getting burnt on how they should live…
- Bump Bible: Everything’s About to Change… Again · 24 min38 weeks and Jackie is on the home stretch. She’s tootling, she’s baking, she’s redecorating, and doing anything but sitting still. Bring on the epidural!Thanks for supporting…
- I Can See Everything · 1 h 2 minJackie is fresh from seeing the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, explains dark energy, and Clyde motorboats Heather McMahan.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Freestyle: Use code…
- Bump Bible: Not a Bottle, Not a Swaddle · 25 minWeek 36 and shit's getting real. Jackie is working the Schimmel Swindle on Clyde, has plans to redecorate the hospital's birthing suite, and could be weeks or maybe hours from…
- I Don't Fucking Care · 1 h 1 minJackie is experiencing PTSD flashbacks to last year’s backyard flood and discusses Selma Blair’s biting habit, flashes her hot gardener, and crafts the perfect awkward…
- Bitch Bible Classics: Bloated, British, and Bitchy. · 45 minJackie returns from London bloated and bitchier than ever. She recaps Real Housewives drama, her trip abroad, a diagnosis of OCD and gives awful life advice. Little Spoon: Use…
- Bump Bible: Ma. Ma. Bear. · 24 minWeek 33 and Jackie is looking in-credible; the jaw is sharp, she’s glowing, and dreaming of a scarf-clad, post-baby jaunt around Paris, but she’ll settle for a frozen lemonade…
- Call Me Jackeigh · 1 h 10 minJackie addresses some nonsense internet backlash, plans the perfect glam lewk, and questions Kelly Clarkson’s sanity.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Tonal: Use code BIBLE to…
- Bump Bible: The Anemic Angel · 25 min30 weeks and Jackie isn’t slowing down at all. She’s shopping for fresh trees, reveling in the attention from her purple bandage, and enjoying the holy trinity of See’s Candy…
- Cushions in Captivity · 1 h 4 minJackie is ready for Off Brand October and is reminded of the enormous stupidity of the general population, stalks a man over patio cushions, and has not one but two public…
- Bump Bible: Gestational Diabetes Warrior · 23 min28 weeks and Jackie aces her gestational diabetes test, reveals that pregnant women online are the new Al-Qaeda, and gives an update on the level of her doomsday baby fund. See…
- Effortlessly Cool with Heather Dubrow · 60 minJackie sits down with Heather Dubrow to discuss how important she is to RHOC, why feeling like a local while traveling is overrated, and how much time is spent dreaming of…
- Bump Bible: Winded and Panting and Gasping · 27 min24 Weeks and we're viable, baby! Whatever that means. Jackie is doing what she can to feel as luxurious as possible: elevated water, candles, and forever chemicals. See Privacy…
- Speedballing · 54 minIt’s Yom Kippur and Jackie reflects on life to find she’s perfect in every way, but she hates her family and the backyard renovation is dangerously close to getting her kicked…
- Bitch Bible Classics: Atonement Lewks · 38 minJackie celebrates Yom Kippur the day of atonement by deflecting her own wrongdoings. She discusses how the Fall solstice ruins lives, the groundbreaking news of Kylie Jenners…
- Bump Bible: Push It · 23 min22 weeks and you know what, Jackie’s feeling pretty good. She's accepted the reality of having two boys, discovered a miserable community of mother’s to-be on TikTok, and is…
- A Place of No · 1 h 1 minJackie is channeling Kelly Killoren Bensimon, is all out of fucks to give, and unleashes her wrath on something that not nearly enough people are angry about: Hammocks. See…
- Bump Bible: So Close, Yet So Far · 22 minWeek 20 and Jackie is halfway through! But only halfway through… She’s passing the time playing one-way hide and seek, planning the nursery, and groundhogging. See Privacy…
- There Can Be Only One Beyoncé with Craig Conover · 54 minJackie sits down with Southern Charm's Craig Conover to talk about appropriate drinks to order on a date, the Destiny’s Child dynamic in a relationship, and his new book Patch…
- Bump Bible: Fat Fat Fat · 23 minWeek 16 and Jackie is feeling joyful and light, and finds herself understanding Phaedra Parks, eating an alarming amount of Red 40, and planning her future best selling pregnancy…
- Anti-Fungal Bitch · 50 minJackie is holed up with her pistol packing housekeeper and discusses Andrew’s sloth-like response time in emergencies, her recent ingestion of a canine anti-fungal, and the value…
- Bump Bible: I Am Baby · 22 minWeek 14 and Jackie has turned a corner. She’s having a blast being her best bitchiest self, enjoying forbidden sushi, and letting everything hang out. See Privacy Policy at…
- Painfully Particular · 1 h 1 minJackie is fresh off a trip to Ojai and discusses the hellscape of hotel children’s pools, Blake Lively’s cake baking, and the gift of an awkward birthday text message. See…
- Bitch Bible Classics: New Money Valley Stripper · 38 minJackie accidentally ingests aluminum foil, has a come to Jesus moment over a 1 star review, has another psychotic break about why she can't get guests and deep dives Jen Shah's…
- Bump Bible: It's a... Bitch · 25 minWeek 12 and Jackie is coming out of the woods of her first trimester, finally enjoying food again, and ready for a gender reveal. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy…
- My Birthday Hate List 2026 · 1 h 5 minWelcome to the Second Annual Jackie Schimmel Bitch Bible Spectacular 2026 List of Things I F****** Hate, in honor of her birthday. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bump Bible: Regret & Robitussin · 20 minIt's week 10. Jackie is in the depths of despair while fighting off a cold and she has a few words for the keyboard Kelseys. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and…
- Last Stop with Stassi Schroeder · 1 h 1 minJackie is joined by Stassi Schroeder to talk all about her #1 hit show, House of Stassi, the do's and don'ts of holiday home decor, and how to be a star. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bump Bible: Vinaigrette Measures · 23 minWeek 8. Lights are dim, nausea closing in... Jackie stares into the abyss as she recalls the homemade remedies she took to ensure Clyde's younger sibling matches the wallpaper…
- Woman in Crisis! · 55 minJackie has a harrowing near death experience with her geriatric grandmother, tackles climate change and recaps the latest pop culture happenings. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bump Bible: A Gender Bender · 24 minIt is week 7 and the symptoms are symptoming. The future demon seed is the size of a blueberry and driving Jackie into the arms of a Wetzels Pretzels whilst spiraling over a non…
- Entertaining the Masses with Nina Parker · 1 h 3 minJackie sits down with tv host Nina Parker to discuss their days together in Entertainment TV, why Jackie hates check-ins, and Clyde's alien abduction story. See Privacy Policy…
- Bump Bible: Trepidatious · 23 minWeek 6 and Jackie is in limbo. Things are starting to get real, but she can’t tell anyone about the pregnancy yet. Except everyone at her local Italian Deli, of course. See…
- Straight Outta Economy · 58 minJackie is getting back to her economy roots and discusses a confrontation at Nordstrom Rack, manipulating pregnancy in her favor, and the joy of Ashley Judd’s Instagram. See…
- Bitch Bible Classics: Loner Boner · 37 minJackie recaps the Real Housewives, the local hero that lost it after no birthday gift and delights listeners with a Grammy worthy vocal performance! See Privacy Policy at…
- Welcome to the Bump Bible · 24 minJackie begins a chronicle of her second pregnancy, speaking directly to moms with deep maternal care, understanding, and Plan B jokes. See Privacy Policy at…
- The Chosen One · 51 minThe stars have aligned to bring back El Pollo Loco’s BBQ Black Beans and the Taco Bell Enchirito just as Jackie is starting her third trimester and ravenously hungry. The…
- Dork Dork 2000 · 56 minJackie celebrates the union of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce by reviewing their modest guest list, describes Clyde’s role in her recent public nudity, and spreads the mantra of…
- Community in Misery. · 1 h 1 minJackie’s in a mood after being continuously serenaded by Shakira seven days a week and discusses the most recent kerfuffle in the backyard renovation, her murderous Andrew…
- The Patina Princess · 1 h 6 minJackie is hunkered down against toxic smoke and gives an update on the backyard renovation, ridicules Andrew’s new recreational basketball league, and marvels at his lack of…
- Bitch Bible Classics: $6.66 · 38 minJackie gets baptized after a demonic bowl of poke, discussed the highly anticipated sequel to "Frankly, Anne" and offers free public relation guidance to Rachel Hollis and Khloe…
- Ugly, Fat, Poor · 58 minJackie’s back after two weeks of guests and ready to rip into pregnancy discomfort, Anna Faris’ media appearances, and Kathleen. Especially Kathleen. See Privacy Policy at…
- Future Rich with Haley Sacks · 56 minJackie is joined by Haley Sacks, Mrs. Dow Jones herself, to discuss making good decisions with money, why at-home laser hair removal is more financially responsible than…
- Red Flags with Jared Freid · 1 h 2 minJackie sits down with Jared Freid to discuss men worshiping at the altar of options, bridesmaid inflection, male influencers, and Jared’s new book Walking Red Flag. See Privacy…
- A Duplex of Disdain · 55 minAndrew makes a rare appearance to attest to Jackie’s record-setting recent bitchiness, while she gives the world a warning, reveals her kink, and updates her views on Danielle…
- Bitch Bible Classics: Meet Me At Alcatraz! · 48 minJackie leaves the country with a real bang by planning the Bitch Bible retreat at Alcatraz island, shares her most recent valley kabob experience, Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber…
- AcTuALLy · 1 h 6 minJackie has a fresh appreciation for Bitch Bible listeners and gives her new critics a mantra to repeat, shares some big personal news, and contemplates starting a Go Fund…
- Hallelujah · 1 h 0 minJackie is fresh off celebrating herself for Mother’s Day and rips overly sentimental holiday social media posts, continues her delayed review of Summer House, and discovers the…
- The Bitch Wears Prada, Too · 57 minJackie is back from a weekend of circus acts, self-care, and Miranda Priestly and recounts a surprising trip to a psychic, reviews the Devil Wears Prada 2, and plans an upcoming…
