That Checks Out
by Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson
Latest episode
Sobbing Turtles and A “10 Bird” Bulge
Sobbing Turtles and A “10 Bird” Bulge
About this podcast
A podcast for anyone who enjoys a sarcastic and ironic view of everyday life!
Episodes
The newest 50 of 338 episodes
- Sobbing Turtles and A “10 Bird” Bulge · 48 min · Episode 338The guys discuss how accepting that promotion can get you arrested, when extreme boredom will inevitably result in higher learning, and why “playing until the whistle” is…
- “Clack Clack… That’s the sound of the police…” · 58 min · Episode 337The guys discuss how many damaged vehicles it requires to necessitate a proposal, when guacamole coupons are considered adequate payment for $700 worth of Free Bird, and why…
- A Front Stomach and Wet Disappointment · 58 min · Episode 336The guys discuss why Damon intends to foil any attack with his most “adequate” weapon, when 23,033 slaps will most definitely lead to salmonella, and how the most wanted pigeon…
- Batman Science and Cleopatra’s Hydration · 51 min · Episode 335The guys discuss how you only have 362 days to plan for panda sex, when engaging in a “fresh start” could cause you to bleed out, and why where you BRING your kid matters more…
- “10% chance it works but 100% chance you’ll know about it” · 51 min · Episode 334The guys discuss why a cranberry tart taint undoubtedly ensures a burning sensation, when you’ll need to remove your slippers to avoid being murdered, and how most attractive…
- Nepally Shore and Internal Pool Noodles · 57 min · Episode 333The guys discuss why Norwegian steps will never compare to Icelandic steps, when spicy enchiladas are guaranteed to kill you, and how aggressive doggie kisses will cure blindness.
- Lobster Pants and Plane Trout · 57 min · Episode 332The guys discuss how having “relations” while vacuuming will almost always result in divorce, when the scent of Wasabi can save your life, and why “porcupining” has an extremely…
- Baby Gangsters and “Was the bear picking mushrooms?” · 1 h 4 min · Episode 331The guys discuss how improperly gluing your hands to genitals can make for an uncomfortable car ride to the precinct, when throwing your baby over a fence incites endless support…
- Intersection Breakfast and Deck Wiggly Wobbly · 46 min · Episode 330The guys discuss why Damon could be guilty of harassment towards Ted if they recorded in the UK, when an ambulance ride and a reduced fine doesn’t get your groceries put away…
- Dinglebrothers Barnum and Bailey Circus and A Poomba · 51 min · Episode 329The guys discuss how tight mittens cause irreversible emotional scarring, when hygienically pressure washing your coin purse dictates that you always go second, and why beating a…
- A Smiling Slit and “you don’t win a fight with a limp squirrel” · 50 min · Episode 328The guys discuss why Damon believes his recent vacation photography expose may be the funniest thing he’s ever done, when it’s absolutely imperative that you leave your ruckus…
- Traffic Cougars and “Can anyone drive a van?” · 1 h 6 min · Episode 327The guys discuss Damon’s newest way to order sandwiches, when a blind man’s nipple rub will totally crush your confidence, and how an entire bank heist hinges on high visibility.
- ComaToes and “That’s a full yodel” · 55 min · Episode 326The guys discuss how why the lack of crowing makes everything much scarier, when flatulence is all you really need to expand your real estate portfolio, and how an international…
- Wilfredmus Brimelus and “Oh, it’s always like this?” · 56 min · Episode 325The guys discuss how just keeping your mouth shut would’ve turned a $35,000 Ebay purchase into a $2.3 million windfall, when being “intertwined” assures you at least 1000 feet of…
- Gary Poppins and Prescription Cola · 48 min · Episode 324The guys discuss why you should never Uber with scissors, when the instructor decides to “step out” and the lesson intensifies, and how cage lids are the single most important…
- Fecal Incidents and Voyeur Parking · 1 h 6 min · Episode 323The guys discuss how investing in a diamond studded cane can be detrimental to your retirement, when having windows that view sunlight and not collect it is far more cost…
- Throbbing Wicks and “send in the frowns” · 54 min · Episode 322The guys discuss how if everyone just did their part and gathered 200-250 bees the world would be a much safer place, when sucking multiple flippers means it’s time to eat, and…
- FlapSlacks, Fiscally Responsible Speakers, and “Is that a horse?” · 57 min · Episode 321The guys discuss how a friendship born of multiple mutual hatreds can last 40+ years, when a white coat obviously guarantees your medical prowess, and why telling someone their…
- Nuts of Diplomacy and Yeet & Eat · 57 min · Episode 320The guys discuss why a man who hides in the bushes to photograph playgrounds should never run a youth internship program, when well-hung loaves of bread might just be the most…
- “Just Enough” Taint Saving and Death Twerks · 57 min · Episode 319The guys discuss how a recent study would show that bungees have still yet to be proven as “optional” in extreme sports, when leaving a five star review will most likely result…
- Revenge Salsa and Gator Wangs · 47 min · Episode 318The guys discuss how age matters more than you think engaged deep in the trenches of war, when taking your work home with you will actually relieve stress, and why a Coleman…
- Ancient Obscene Recipes and Incognito Socks · 41 min · Episode 317The guys discuss how absorbent a sandwich can be in an emergency, when you only came for the eulogy but you stayed for the snacks, and why failing to properly inspect your free…
- Monster Wolf Robots and A Convenient Dog Shooter · 55 min · Episode 316The guys discuss how see through ponchos foil nearly all Japanese convenient store robberies, when being too fat will definitely cost you your donkey privileges, and why it’s so…
- “Snake and Eggs” & “Mom likes to party!” · 50 min · Episode 315The guys discuss why you should definitely eliminate salmon from your diet if you’re allergic to cocaine, when the right window treatments can prevent you from accidentally…
- “She was yelling at me through her tooth!” · 1 h 0 min · Episode 314The guys discuss how a defective port-a-potty will ruin your sex life, when having “special socks” makes playing left field for the Mets at 50+ a possibility, and why having sex…
- Squinting Tigers, Flaming Patients, and Little League Date Night · 38 min · Episode 313The guys discuss why poorly hydrated goats will never be seen as attractive, when the inability to turn the pages of your diary inevitably means you’re going to die a virgin, and…
- He-Man ATMs and Pushing Amnesia · 1 h 1 min · Episode 312The guys discuss how not everyone is designed to be an athlete, when safely navigating a boat trip relies not only on sidewalks but traffic patterns, and why being the smartest…
- DcMonald’s and Plane Roofies · 55 min · Episode 311The guys discuss why you should always deny responsibility for the contents of your rectum, when having wheels means you don’t get line cuts, and how sifted muffins can be the…
- Fake Blindness and The Animal Assassin · 47 min · Episode 310The guys discuss how consuming Big Macs will inevitably constitute as birth control, when keeping your rotisserie chicken and karaoke machine dry is NOT the largest obstacle…
- A “Killer” Culinary Gift and Keistered Wine · 39 min · Episode 309The guys discuss how much aluminum foil is necessary when jousting a Buick, when three wishes won’t make your oil light go out, and why not paying for your horse to ride the…
- “That sounded like it was agreement to me!” · 46 min · Episode 308The guys discuss why it is imperative to vet your wizards properly prior to completing any financial transaction, when is the best time to interact with nocturnal, wallet-less…
- “That one’s thumping up pretty good!” and “Read the Tesla!” · 54 min · Episode 307The guys discuss how urine soaked toasters make it nearly impossible to recoup your security deposit, when a perp can elude the police with a simple belly rub, and why a…
- “South of the Bean!!!” (self destruct sequence adverted) · 58 min · Episode 305The guys discuss how the hands up on Ted’s hips means not one goodbye shall be heard, when the “flopping” and “slapping” all but guarantees you’re going to give up that…
- Linda Hoe & Duckface · 59 min · Episode 304The guys discuss how the hyena’s extinction can only be prevented through simultaneous flipping, when creating a sound drop for a wildly popular podcast that is heard by dozens…
- Swole Chads, Endless Edits, and Bottomless Popcorn · 1 h 13 min · Episode 303The guys discuss how to properly disarm an 8-inch WW1 artillery shell, when a Pizza Surprise Attack will definitely confuse two grown men TWICE, and why not responding to your…
- Booger Shush & “What’s a blunch?” · 1 h 15 min · Episode 302The guys discuss why it is virtually impossible to fight “mirror demons” without a Feng Shui stick, when a one rock promise and a new thrift store wardrobe all but guarantees you…
- “Who has time for ball shaping?" & "Read the purse fart of it!” · 1 h 4 min · Episode 301The guys discuss how watching someone fish could lead to a lifelong romance, when pushing your spouse off a cliff seems easier than consummating the marriage, why a universal…
- Romantic Sibling Balloons and Family Finger Cuffs · 1 h 22 min · Episode 300The guys discuss how almost all known statue related deaths revolve around jealousy, when two hundred feet of extension cord and a Dyson will definitely get you a misdemeanor…
- We”re Not Judging but $50,000 Seems Reasonable · 48 min · Episode 299The guys discuss how honey buns are the leading cause of prison breaks in Romania, when a comped order of mozzarella sticks will earn you hero status, and why pills in the 1700’s…
- Husker Du Rides and Just Harp Adjacent · 59 min · Episode 298The guys discuss why a prison sentence will never stand between Donna and her “eternity”,when you can have $6 worth of fun with $4 worth of lettuce, and how bringing a $30,000…
- A Purple Nurple and Daddy Daughter Pinkeye · 59 min · Episode 297The guys discuss why shark selfies are the #1 cause of lost Peace signs, where is the absolute most ignorant place to stand when determining your boyfriend is faking being a…
- Valloween and The Windsor Knot Fortune Teller · 54 min · Episode 296The guys discuss how a secondhand heart doesn’t make you bulletproof, when pink eye from a pastor might just save your life, and why an “agitated” alligator and a pocket full of…
- Tom Sellthicc and Billy San · 1 h 10 min · Episode 295The guys discuss why it is so crucial to know the passcode to your lady’s lingerie, when “Ted” becoming “Tom” during a space shuttle landing equates to infinite wealth, and how…
- Chicken Sandwich, Shooooooming, and A Dwerk · 1 h 0 min · Episode 294The guys discuss how the decision of “soup or salad” will always set the tone for sexy time that night, when getting the mail absolutely becomes your most death defying daily…
- Ted’s Burbee and Baked Casseroles · 1 h 7 min · Episode 293The guys discuss how a monkey with money is never hungry or horny, when a wedgie eliminates neck pain. and why an exploding nana leads to military dominance.
- Beth Only & “Can I get ten threes?” · 44 min · Episode 292The guys discuss how the best way to determine a man’s wealth is by the direction of his zeros, when 5 stars and a shart guarantee crispy southwest egg rolls, and why you can…
- “I accidentally doodied trying to do a science.” · 44 min · Episode 291The guys discuss why sharing a scoop of cottage cheese and half a tomato guarantees you’ll be at every PTA meeting, when kicking over a stroller will save you from being scammed…
- Daddy Bear and Keistered Cookies · 50 min · Episode 290The guys discuss how Jamaican enchiladas guarantee a successful marriage, when scoring 200 points during a robbery will only make the dog laugh at you, and why even the thrill of…
- The Pool Pianist and Sexy Raptor Sounds · 50 min · Episode 289The guys discuss how sultry train videos can be an acceptable substitute to funky minge, when arson can be considered foreplay, and why launching dipping sauces into space is…
- “You got an STD at a funeral? …free pickle side…” · 55 min · Episode 288The guys discuss why it is so crucial to clock out prior to any workplace scuffle, when a chance meeting in Costa Rica instantly becomes deadly, and how Damon’s probably not a…
