Been There Got Out Podcast
by Chris & Lisa
Latest episode
Why You Still Blame Yourself Years After Leaving a Narcissist
Why You Still Blame Yourself Years After Leaving a Narcissist
About this podcast
Chris and Lisa of BeenThereGotOut.com both survived toxic marriages with narcissistic partners and the legal and co-parenting nightmares that go hand-in-hand with all of that.If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.Our podcast features interviews with lawyers, therapists, co-parenting coordinators, guardians ad litem, and other subject matter experts, as well as other content, all with one goal in mind: Let us teach you how to HELP YOURSELF!
Episodes
The newest 50 of 390 episodes
- Why You Still Blame Yourself Years After Leaving a Narcissist · 30 min · Season 2026 Episode 393You've been out of the relationship for years. So why does your ex's voice still feel like it's squatting between your ears? If you replay old arguments at 2 a.m., wonder what…
- The Alec and Lydia Act: How a Mother Changed Arizona Custody Law After Family Court Failed Her · 42 min · Season 2026 Episode 392This conversation discusses domestic violence and the deaths of two children. Please take care of yourself as you watch, and pause whenever you need to. On June 22, 2026…
- "Why Did You Stay So Long?" A Pink Floyd Singer Answers the Question Survivors Dread · 32 min · Season 2026 Episode 391Why do smart, successful, accomplished women stay in abusive relationships? And why does the shame feel even heavier when everyone thinks you have the perfect life? In this…
- Should You Hire a "Bulldog" Divorce Lawyer? A 45-Year Attorney on High-Conflict Divorce · 47 min · Season 2026 Episode 390"Your life is in my hands" is the worst thing a client can say to their lawyer, according to family law attorney James Lea. And after 45 years in courtrooms, he has heard it…
- Co-Parenting an Autistic Child With a High-Conflict Ex · 30 min · Season 2026 Episode 389Co-parenting a child with autism is hard enough when both parents are on the same page. When your ex is high-conflict, every choice (the diagnosis, therapy, school services, even…
- Parental Alienation in Court: What to Ask the Judge For Without Saying "Alienation" · 1 h 5 min · Season 2026 Episode 388When your child starts pulling away, it's natural to want to prove to the world what your ex is doing. But the parents who make the most progress are often the ones who focus on…
- How to Calm Your Nervous System Before Court: Breathing, Movement & Decisions · 43 min · Season 2026 Episode 387If you've been fighting in family court for months or years and your body won't cooperate, you are not failing. Maybe you're exhausted but can't sleep. Maybe you forget things…
- How to Stay Grounded: Advice from a Parental Alienation Support Group Founder · 42 min · Season 2026 Episode 386When your child won't talk to you, the pain can feel so physical that you don't know where to put it. Lawrence Joss knows that feeling well. He started Parental Alienation…
- Can Your Ex Use Your Therapy Against You in Custody? · 31 min · Season 2026 Episode 385Can your therapy be used against you in a custody case? It's one of the most common fears we hear, and it keeps far too many parents from getting help they need right when they…
- When an 11-Year-Old Chooses Which Parent to Live With: A Mediator's Story of Loss & Return · 1 h 5 min · Season 2026 Episode 384🎯 "I thought my world had collapsed." When Katy Harris separated, a court order followed her 11-year-old son's wishes: he would live with his dad, while his older and younger…
- The Unseen Parent: A Targeted Mom on the Undermining That Starts Before You Divorce · 34 min · Season 2026 Episode 383"One parent becomes the good parent, and one parent becomes the bad parent." That's how Shawna Leatherman describes the moment parental alienation actually begins, and it's…
- Is Your Co-Parenting Conflict Fueling Teen Addiction Risk? · 37 min · Season 2026 Episode 382"A toxic environment is a toxic environment, whether the parents are together or they're separate." That's not a divorce coach talking. That's Dave Kopeny — a former probation…
- Why Men Don't Talk About Divorce Pain with Garth Haslem · 55 min · Season 2026 Episode 381"Force demands fairness. Power prepares for reality. Force chases. Power disengages when engagement is useless." That's the framework Manalizing founder Garth Haslem uses to…
- Why Rage Is a Sane Response to Legal Abuse, Not a Character Flaw · 25 min · Season 2026 Episode 380"I would wake up every single morning, there'd be a moment when I'd forget who I was, and then I would just be furious. And it wasn't even at my ex — it was at the system…
- The Step-Parent's Side of Parental Alienation: a Therapist/Former GAL Speaks Out · 42 min · Season 2026 Episode 379"One hundred percent of what was reported back to me was untrue." That's what it's like to be the step-parent inside a parental alienation campaign — standing in the middle of a…
- Is Your Ex Gaslighting Your Kids? A Therapist Explains What It Really Looks Like · 39 min · Season 2026 Episode 378"That is gaslighting — because the parent isn't thinking about what the child is going through. They're just making the child question their own reality." That's how licensed…
- Fake Voicemail Apps Are Fabricating Court Evidence - Here's How to Protect Yourself · 28 min · Season 2026 Episode 377"Our Family Wizard is the single source of truth." That's how attorney and Guardian ad Litem Elle Barr describes the platform she helps educate judges and family law…
- How to Stop Obsessive Thinking About Your Ex: A Somatic Psychologist Explains · 46 min · Season 2026 Episode 376"Obsessive thinking is repetitive self-stimulation. It has movement in it — thought is a movement, it's an energy form." That's how somatic psychologist Annie Brook describes the…
- Does Parental Alienation Backfire in Court? A Beverly Hills Divorce Attorney Explains · 28 min · Season 2026 Episode 375“The court doesn’t care who was mean.” That’s not a throwaway line, according to Beverly Hills divorce attorney Nikoo Berenji, it’s one of the biggest blind spots she sees…
- A Family Court Insider Reveals the Custody Mistakes That Quietly Sink Good Parents · 36 min · Season 2026 Episode 374She spent five years on the inside of the family court system as a Connecticut Family Relations Counselor — the person who meets with both parents, talks to the kids, and writes…
- Why Does My Toxic Ex Get Worse After the Divorce Is Final? · 36 min · Season 2026 Episode 373Most people believe that once the divorce is final, the chaos finally ends. With a high-conflict, narcissistic, or unpredictable co-parent, the opposite is often true. As they…
- Why 50/50 Custody Can Backfire Badly in a High-Conflict Divorce · 46 min · Season 2026 Episode 372Everyone walks into family court assuming the “fair” answer is to split the kids right down the middle. Fifty-fifty. Equal time, equal say, problem solved. But what if that…
- A DV Nonprofit CEO on What Family Court Gets Wrong About Abuse Survivors · 24 min · Season 2026 Episode 371If you have already left an abusive relationship and you're now staring down the family court system, this conversation was made for you. Lisa Johnson of Been There Got Out sits…
- Nilaja Ford: The Voice of the Child in New Jersey Custody · 46 min · Season 2026 Episode 370New Jersey judges are now hearing from children directly in custody matters, and parents whose exes have spent years working on those children are alarmed. Nilaja Ford's counter…
- Anne P. Mitchell: Spotting a False Allegation Before It Lands · 46 min · Season 2026 Episode 369Anne P. Mitchell coined the term "co-parenting." Decades before that, she was one of the first two attorneys in the country to argue that children have a right to an ongoing…
- Ashish Joshi: Parental Alienation Cases That Hold Up in Court · 44 min · Season 2026 Episode 368Two labels get used for very different situations in family court, and mixing them up changes who the judge thinks is to blame. A "high conflict" case is two parents who can't…
- Religious Abuse & Parental Alienation: How Faith Gets Weaponized in a High-Conflict Divorce · 40 min · Season 2026 Episode 367What happens when your ex doesn’t just badmouth you to the kids, but tells them God is on their side? In this episode, Lisa talks with interfaith minister and trauma-informed…
- The Science of Self-Medication: Trauma, PTSD & Substance Use After Abuse · 36 min · Season 2026 Episode 366If you've been living in a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, you probably know that feeling all too well — the exhaustion that never quite leaves, the hypervigilance, the…
- How to Stop Your Brain from Panicking at Every Text from Your Toxic Ex · 33 min · Season 2026 Episode 365You know that feeling. Your phone buzzes. You see their name. And before you can even read the message, your heart is racing, your chest tightens, and you can barely think…
- Ian Steinberg: Making Mediation Work With a High-Conflict Ex · 29 min · Season 2026 Episode 364Two parents cannot sit across a table without it turning into a fight, so the mediation moves onto Zoom. Each one waits in a separate breakout room while the attorneys shuttle…
- "Am I Going to Lose My Child to Alienation?" A Psychologist Answers · 21 min · Season 2026 Episode 363If you've ever found yourself paralyzed by the fear that your ex is slowly turning your children against you and there's nothing you can do about it, this conversation is for…
- How to Survive a Parenting Coordinator When Your Ex Won't Cooperate · 45 min · Season 2026 Episode 362If you've been ordered into parenting coordination, or you're wondering whether a parenting coordinator could help your high-conflict custody case, this conversation is for you…
- What a Guardian Ad Litem Actually Cares About · 40 min · Season 2026 Episode 361What does a Guardian Ad Litem really think when a 10-year-old says they want 50/50 custody? Crystal Wright has heard it hundreds of times — and she can tell instantly when a…
- Male Victim Jon: Four Years of Parental Alienation, Then a Text Back · 39 min · Season 2026 Episode 360Jon went four years without speaking to any of his four children. This episode is a follow-up: two weeks before recording, one of his daughters texted him for the first time…
- Lynn Price: How to Negotiate With a Toxic Ex · 38 min · Season 2026 Episode 359Lynn Price once walked away from a negotiation and left real money on the table on purpose. After twenty-five years and more than eleven thousand negotiations as a corporate…
- Why Did the Judge Do That? A Former Family Court Judge Explains · 30 min · Season 2026 Episode 358What does a family court judge actually think when you walk through those courtroom doors? If you have ever walked out of a hearing asking "why did the judge do THAT?" — this…
- What Reunification Therapy REALLY Is (And Why Courts Get It Wrong) · 28 min · Season 2026 Episode 357🔁 Dr. Premela Deck is back — and this time, she's going deeper. If you're navigating reunification therapy, supervised visitation, or simply trying to understand why…
- Dr. Annie Brook: Four Ways to Stay Calm in the Courtroom · 43 min · Season 2026 Episode 356Freeze has no movement in it, and Annie Brook says that is exactly the problem. When you go numb before a hearing there is nothing moving, so there is nothing to feel, so there…
- Your Child Refuses Therapy: What an Art Therapist Says Do Instead · 40 min · Season 2026 Episode 355Finding the right therapist for your child during a high-conflict divorce is one of the most important and misunderstood decisions you'll make. Most parents want immediate…
- Julia Hochstadt: What to Do When Your Child Discloses Abuse · 43 min · Season 2026 Episode 354Julia Hochstadt has spent years listening to accounts that sound impossible, and she does not treat the implausibility as information. When a child discloses, her instruction to…
- James Porfido: When Your Ex Weaponizes the Court System · 39 min · Season 2026 Episode 353James Porfido spent decades on both sides of a criminal courtroom, prosecuting cases and then defending them. What he saw over 35 years became a book about a system he believes…
- Tosha Schore: When Your Child Comes Home From Your Ex's Enraged · 32 min · Season 2026 Episode 352The limbic system floods the cortex when a child goes into a rage, which is why talking them down does not work. Tosha Schore puts it plainly: you can feel your way out of…
- How to Stop Being Terrified of Family Court with Dr. Ben Garber · 50 min · Season 2026 Episode 351🎯 "I don't know what to expect — and that terrifies me." If that's where you are right now, this conversation was made for you. Dr. Benjamin Garber is a New Hampshire-licensed…
- Dr. Andrea DePetris: Staying Regulated at Custody Exchanges · 28 min · Season 2026 Episode 350The word trigger gets used casually enough that it has stopped meaning one thing. Dr. Andrea DePetris separates two uses of it. In the trauma field it means a stimulus that…
- Monique: SB 1192, the Reclaim Act, and Litigation Abuse · 32 min · Season 2026 Episode 349Monique represented herself in her own California custody case, then went to law school. Along the way she became a trained domestic violence advocate, and she now helps organize…
- Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst: Why 14 Is the Most Dangerous Age for Parental Alienation · 45 min · Season 2026 Episode 348Somewhere around the teen years, a lot of alienated parents hit the same wall: the child who used to run to them now refuses to come at all. In this episode, psychologist Dr…
- Sara Vandenberg: What a CPS Investigation Actually Involves · 33 min · Season 2026 Episode 347One assumption does real damage in a contested separation: that child protective services is a route to custody. Sara Vandenberg, who worked those cases from the inside, says the…
- Dr. Sylvia K: Breaking Intergenerational Trauma Patterns · 42 min · Season 2026 Episode 346Ninety seconds is what Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky asks for. Breathe, observe, describe, yield. She walks Lisa through it live in this episode, and by the end of it Lisa notices her…
- Dr. Jill Leibowitz: Code-Switching Kids and Co-Parenting Mistakes · 32 min · Season 2026 Episode 345Children handle a strict teacher and a lenient one in the same school day without much trouble. Dr. Jill Leibowitz applies that to co-parenting: what a child needs is for each…
- Kasia Bukowska: What a Horse Shows You About Your Own Patterns · 43 min · Season 2026 Episode 344Horses read your state, not your words. That is the whole premise of this conversation, and it is why Kasia Bukowska says a horse can find something a person has been talking…
