Conflict Owner's Manual
Dr. Deborah Sword, with co-host Tyson Bankert
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Two low risk ways to practice conflict skills in secret #160
Two low risk ways to practice conflict skills in secret #160
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When you improve your conflict skills you improve your relationships. We're tech support for the conflict skills you already have, so you do conflict better.
Our logo is a dandelion because conflict is like a weed invading your garden. You want to know how to manage it, and keep it from spreading. In each episode, we give you one real life conflict competency you can use right away to improve your skills, which will also improve the quality of your relationships.
Dr. Deborah Sword is a specialist in conflict analysis and management. Tyson Bankert is a community facilitator and artist. We have decades of experience helping people improve their conflict competencies.
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159 bölümden en yeni 20 bölüm
- Two low risk ways to practice conflict skills in secret #160 · 7 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 160Change is hard. Practice takes effort. It's easier to keep doing conflict the way you've always done conflict. This episode shows you two secret ways that you can practice your…
- Why you should have the conversations you dread 159 · 8 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 159The movie, A Nice Indian Boy (2024), shows two conflict competencies. 1, what we fear from hard conversations often doesn’t happen. 2, the boundaries we erect may be barriers…
- Are you defusing the conflict or adding fuel to it? #158 · 7 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 158Which would you rather practice, how to turn a disagreement into a dispute, or how to turn a conflict into a conversation? I show you how you can do either with the ordinary…
- How many people are in your 2-person conflict? #157 · 6 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 157That conflict you have with one person doesn't stop with the two of you. Maybe you vent to a friend, or process your dilemma with a colleague, or withdraw while you worry about…
- The steps to prevent a conflict before it starts #156 · 6 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 156Preventing a conflict from happening feels as good as resolving one after it happens. Conflict prevention is my favourite conflict competency. Maybe you're wondering why you'd…
- Fix your conflicts by being your own conflict coach #155 · 7 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 155Coaches in life, work and sports can add value to your life by helping you explore problems and create solutions. What if you become your own conflict coach? Self-coaching turns…
- Hidden conflict skills you don't know you have 154 · 6 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 154Conflict owner’s manual has one goal: to help you think about the skills you already have so you can use those skills under pressure. That’s right. You already have most of the…
- What you lose when you insist on winning the conflict 153 · 5 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 153Do you try to get the one outcome you prefer in a conflict? You might get your desired outcome, and it might feel like you won. But did getting your way harm the relationship?…
- Silence can be a smart thing to say in conflict #152 · 7 dk · Sezon 9 Bölüm 152Most people have been in a conflict where angry words were exchanged, often loudly, as each party attempts to persuade, and win the argument. I show you a conflict skill that can…
- Do your beliefs about conflict add fuel to the fight? #151 · 6 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 151From our first experiences with conflict, we form beliefs about how conflict "should" be. What you believe about how conflict "should" be conducted is how you conduct yourself in…
- Are you trying to argue someone out of their belief? Do this instead #150 · 7 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 150What people believe is how they behave. If you're using arguments to try changing someone's rules, opinions, decisions or perspective, you aren't likely to change their beliefs…
- How you fight vs. how often: which matters more? 149 · 8 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 149Maybe not fighting in a relationship is a good sign, and maybe it's a warning flag. How do you tell the difference? Does not fighting mean you're avoiding hard to discuss topics…
- If your conflict OS is outdated, so are your conflicts #148 · 8 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 148Are old problems and failed relationships still in charge of your new problems and current relationships? Here are three ways to get better at managing conflicts. When did you…
- What is your conflict trying to tell you? #147 · 8 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 147Conflicts have important information for you. When you're in conflict, you think about how the other person is wrong, or hurtful or disappointing etc. But, your thoughts are also…
- Three approaches to owning your conflicts 146 · 8 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 146We talk about owning your conflict, but what does it mean to 'own' your conflict? Consider these three meanings of ownership: 1. personal, 2. interpersonal, and 3. using your…
- Can you be impartial while taking a side? #145 · 11 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 145Tyson surprised Deborah with a question: Can someone pick a side in a conflict, but then be impartial in the conflict? We discuss the differences in neutrality, impartiality, and…
- When someone won't listen to you, do this. #144 · 5 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 144Sometimes, you mean well but the other person in the conflict just won't hear you. Maybe you want to talk, even to apologize, but they've cut you off, blocked and ghosted you…
- Three questions when someone disappoints you 143 · 5 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 143If you are disappointed in someone, it's tempting to blame them for not meeting your expectations. The conflict competent response is to ask yourself these questions, which will…
- Three ways to handle hurt feelings in conflict 142 · 7 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 142Feelings are often hurt in conflict, and it's tempting to blame the other person for hurting you. Whether you are 100% at fault for the conflict or did nothing wrong, you can…
- Two small shifts that make big conflict improvements 141 · 6 dk · Sezon 8 Bölüm 141There are two parts to your conflict competence practice; 1. your actions and 2. your attitude. If you change one of them, you will affect the other. Start small, think of one…
