PsycHacks
by Orion Taraban
Latest episode
Episode 673: How to fix online dating (price signals)
Episode 673: How to fix online dating (price signals)
About this podcast
PsycHacks provides listeners with a brief, thought-provoking episode several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by my clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each episode to inspire listeners to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light.
Episodes
The newest 50 of 680 episodes
- Episode 673: How to fix online dating (price signals) · 13 min · Episode 687Online dating is here to stay, but its design may be making it far harder than necessary for men and women to form real relationships. In this episode, I explain how to fix…
- Episode 672: How to make money (get out of slavery) · 12 min · Episode 686Most people spend their lives trading time for money – but real wealth is the ability to buy back your freedom. In this episode, I explain how to make money by focusing on the…
- Episode 671: Check your weapons (making the world safer) · 10 min · Episode 697It is not possible to negotiate with someone who has a gun when you are unarmed. Men and women have evolved different approaches to aggression – both of which can be harmful and…
- Episode 670: How to manifest (you're doing it wrong) · 9 min · Episode 711Vision boards and good intentions can clarify your goals and help you recognize opportunities, but they won’t magically make the universe deliver what you want. How to manifest…
- Episode 669: My reading list (how to get it) · 8 min · Episode 710Get my free reading list: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Not a week goes by without a viewer contacting me for book recommendations. You’ve asked; I’ve delivered. In this episode…
- Episode 668: They're watching (your biggest fans) · 9 min · Episode 684They’re watching – and what if the unseen audience isn’t hoping for your failures, but desperately waiting for your victories. In this episode, I present a thought experiment…
- Episode 667: Unhappiness and love (why so many people struggle) · 10 min · Episode 683Unhappiness and love may be more closely related than most people realize. In this episode, I explain why so many people struggle in romantic relationships, arguing that people…
- Episode 666: A citizen of the world (be a good guest) · 9 min · Episode 682What does it mean to be a citizen of the world in an increasingly globalized society? In this episode, I explain how travel can broad your perspectives, challenge cultural…
- Episode 665: Objectify him (texting) · 10 min · Episode 702It seems like both men and women are bad at texting. This is generally due to the fact that both sides are giving the other what they hope to receive – not what the other…
- Episode 664: Arrogance (Lindsay Clancy) · 9 min · Episode 701In this episode, I discuss the Lindsay Clancy mistrial in the context of certain controversial statements made by several jurors after deliberations ended. Whether they were…
- Episode 663: Make her obsessed (the importance of contrast) · 12 min · Episode 689When you deepen a woman’s initial interest into emotional engagement, you make her obsessed. In this episode, I explain the importance of contrast, and why this element can…
- Episode 662: Keeping the peace (standing up to female bullies) · 10 min · Episode 698Constantly trying to manage your partner’s feelings does not lead to peace. Emotional externalizers turn relationships into imbalanced systems – and assertive boundaries are…
- Episode 661: Reasonable doubt (Lindsay Clancy) · 12 min · Episode 699In this episode, I discuss whether the evidence supports reasonable doubt about Lindsay Clancy’s mental state at the time of the murders. I also examine the diagnoses involved…
- Episode 660: I can't tell you what to do (a structural problem) · 9 min · Episode 700In this episode, I discuss the structural problem at the heart of all advice meant for mass consumption. Generalities are broadly true but difficult to apply, while specifics are…
- Episode 659: Never her fault (Lindsay Clancy) · 13 min · Episode 696Can depression or psychosis be invoked to erase responsibility? The support for Lindsay Clancy indicates that some people believe it is never her fault. Using examples from her…
- Episode 658: The five hard conversations (preventing divorce) · 11 min · Episode 692The five hard conversations reveal major relationship incompatibilities before they become deeply entrenched and may collectively be one of the best tools for preventing divorce…
- Episode 657: When empathy is evil (Lindsay Clancy) · 11 min · Episode 691When empathy is evil, compassion overrides accountability, justice, and concern for the true victims. Using the case of Lindsay Clancy, this episode examines the psychological…
- Episode 656: Cultivating need (keep her busy) · 9 min · Episode 681Cultivating need is a controversial, but pragmatic approach to maintaining long-term relationships. In this episode, I explain why the intentional cultivation of need can…
- Episode 655: Finding good women (how to test them) · 13 min · Episode 679Finding good women depends on your ability to discern which women are enthusiastic about entering your frame – and which women aren’t. In this episode, I explain how to test them…
- Episode 654: 90% love (don't go all the way) · 11 min · Episode 678This episode was inspired by Patrice O’Neal, who once said he only offers a woman 90% love. This is really good advice. Boundaries may be antithetical to love, but they do make…
- Episode 653: She ain't yours (she's yours for now) · 11 min · Episode 677Men set themselves up for disappointment when they think of the women in their lives as theirs. The truth is she ain’t yours – she’s yours for now. Using a viral real-world…
- Episode 652: Emotions are resources (what players understand) · 10 min · Episode 676Emotions are resources – and understanding that idea will change how you see attraction, dating, and long-term relationships. In this episode, I reveal what players understand…
- Episode 651: Women are the brakes (men drive progress) · 10 min · Episode 675Citation: https://archive.org/details/homosexualitiessbellrich In this episode, I explore the idea that women are the brakes on both sexual behavior and social change – while…
- Episode 650: Effort doesn't pay (no one cares about your struggle) · 9 min · Episode 674Effort doesn’t pay, results do – and the marketplace rewards the value you create rather than the effort you expend. In this episode, I explain why no one cares about your…
- Episode 649: Love is hard (why it is rare) · 11 min · Episode 673Love is hard because it demands sacrifice – not merely emotion, attraction, or a mutual exchange of value. And this is why it is rare: most people only love to the point where…
- Episode 648: You like toxic (the real reason you go back) · 11 min · Episode 672You like toxic more than you realize, and recognizing that uncomfortable truth is the first step toward lasting change. In this episode, I explore the real reason you go back…
- Episode 647: How to be physically attractive (the five principles) · 13 min · Episode 670Looksmaxxing – the modern male movement to become more physically attractive – is not essentially bad, though it is mired in problematic personalities and bad faith marketing. In…
- Episode 646: Love the label (put yourself in a box) · 12 min · Episode 671Love the label by embracing a clear identity instead of trying to appeal to everyone in the marketplace. In this episode, I explain why it behooves you to put yourself in a box…
- Episode 645: Looksmaxxing (why it's going viral) · 12 min · Episode 669Looksmaxxing is the current viral trend in which men seek to improve their physical attractiveness using physical, cosmetic, and surgical procedures and techniques. In this…
- Episode 644: Love mobs (they don't work for women) · 10 min · Episode 668In this episode, I explore an emergent phenomenon in the sexual marketplace I call “love mobs,” concentrations of female attraction on a small number of highly visible men. While…
- Episode 643: Haters are good (how being disliked helps you) · 15 min · Episode 667As someone with firsthand experience, I can assure you that haters are good. In this episode, I discuss how being disliked helps you by testing the power of your arguments…
- Episode 642: Forget it (have a short memory) · 12 min · Episode 666Healing requires understanding and forgiveness – but it may also require forgetfulness. In this episode, I explain why successful people have a short memory and quickly re-engage…
- Episode 641: Paying to play (the two exceptions) · 14 min · Episode 663Most relationships involve some form of exchange, but many people overlook the transactional nature of paying to play in modern dating. Both traditional marriage and sugaring…
- Episode 640: Your past (moving forward from pain) · 12 min · Episode 658Your past can shape you, but it doesn’t have to define you – especially when moving forward from pain is the path to self-realization. In this episode, I challenge the idea that…
- Episode 639: Obedience (a model for women) · 15 min · Episode 661Everyone is obedient to something, and this obedience (properly applied) provides the necessary structure for self-improvement and functional relationships. In this episode, I…
- Episode 638: Love bombing (the two budgets) · 12 min · Episode 664Love bombing is a courtship strategy that overwhelms partners with attention and affection before effort inevitably declines. In today’s episode, I explain the economic logic…
- Episode 637: Never restore a woman (don't take her back) · 11 min · Episode 651Many men are monomaniacally focused on getting an ex back. However, you should never restore a woman to her previous level of commitment after she has chosen to leave. Just like…
- Episode 636: Your best life (an ideal Tuesday) · 10 min · Episode 644Designing your best life is less about chasing peak experiences and more about building a sustainable daily structure. By focusing on an ideal Tuesday, you can create a…
- Episode 635: Women are endurance hunters (stop running from her) · 10 min · Episode 660Some women are endurance hunters. They apply steady pressure over time until resistance collapses. In this episode, I discuss how incremental demands can shape power dynamics…
- Episode 634: The death of speech (why we need men) · 10 min · Episode 650Recent research has revealed significant gender differences with respect to tolerance for opposing viewpoints. In today’s episode, I argue that male social norms around respect…
- Episode 633: Love cheats (the unfaithful spouse) · 14 min · Episode 659Why do so many romances involve betrayal? In this episode, I explain why love cheats as a narrative device to measure the depth and intensity of the romantic connection. This…
- Episode 632: The gift of your absence (if you can't leave) · 11 min · Episode 654When respect breaks down, the gift of your absence can remind others of your value by withdrawing from unproductive dynamics. But what happens if you can’t leave – because of…
- Episode 631: A million dollar dream (it's worth the work) · 13 min · Episode 653A loving, stable, long-term relationship with a supportive and attractive woman is a million dollar dream. Both may be rare – but potentially not as rare as many might think…
- Episode 630: A means to an end (three lessons) · 10 min · Episode 656In a rapidly changing world, understanding that everything you have is a means to an end can protect you from the unnecessary suffering arising from inappropriate identification…
- Episode 629: Wanting a wife (the secretary problem) · 13 min · Episode 665Why are modern marriages breaking down? In this episode, I argue that one of the root causes is that both men and women are wanting a wife. The secretary problem reveals an…
- Episode 628: Smart people are happy (understanding intelligence) · 13 min · Episode 662Contrary to popular belief, smart people are happy because they successfully apply their intelligence to the problem of their own happiness and fulfillment. Understanding…
- Episode 627: Just be yourself (the best and worst advice) · 13 min · Episode 655Is “just be yourself” good advice? In today’s episode, I explain why authenticity only works after disciplined self-development has generated competence, confidence, and results…
- Episode 626: Wounds (your greatest gift) · 12 min · Episode 652Our deepest wounds can become enduring sources of wisdom and value when we refuse to let pain define us. In this episode, I explain how suffering – when mastered through…
- Episode 625: Detach (how men show up) · 12 min · Episode 649Attachment theory dominates modern dating advice, but this might be leading men in the wrong direction. In this episode, I explain why emotional attachment matters more for…
- Episode 624: The samurai (a model for men) · 11 min · Episode 648The samurai stands as a model for men, embodying disciplined strength without sacrificing emotional depth. Rather than suppressing sensitivity, the samurai integrates masculine…
