Qualified for Nothing
by meme farmer studios
Latest episode
Dealing with being BROKE and UGLY, Manic Texting a Guy you've never…
Dealing with being BROKE and UGLY, Manic Texting a Guy you've never…
About this podcast
The advice podcast you didn't know you needed. Soothing specialist Celaine's ASMR and comedy genius meme farmer hamish team up and give their unqualified opinions on your problems.
Episodes
The newest 20 of 25 episodes
- Dealing with being BROKE and UGLY, Manic Texting a Guy you've never met, and Ruining your gay art date · 42 min · Season 1 Episode 25In this SPOOKY episode of Qualified for Nothing, Hamish and Celaine flip the script from last week's episode and discuss nice GIRLS, Celaine calls Hamish broke and ugly (#true)…
- How to compensate for being Short, Providing for WOKE Women, Talking to a Wall, and being British · 47 min · Season 1 Episode 24In today's episode, Celaine discusses the best way to compensate being short (she's 4'11 btw), Hamish guides you through what life is like constantly talking to walls, and they…
- Breaking up with your boyfriend, How to Kick out your Extended Family, Getting matching Butthole Tattoos and Stalking your Coworker · 40 min · Season 1 Episode 23In this week's episode of Qualified for Nothing, we've all finally returned from our trips (yes, all of us, totally) and we're here to discuss the things that we're perfectly…
- A Guide to Befriending the IT department, Getting banned from DoorDash, and deploying Bees on your rowdy neighbors · 24 min · Season 1 Episode 22In today's trainwreck, the Qualified for Nothing gang attempt to discuss the best acts of petty revenge. Hamish explains that you should train bees to attack your neighbors when…
- Kicking out your Roommate for being Too Cold, A Light Switch for the Outlet, and Collectively losing our minds at 2am · 30 min · Season 1 Episode 21In this week's episode of our beloved advice podcast, Qualified for Nothing, Hamish has his hygiene insulted by a co-host, not naming names or anything but it rhymes with Jim…
- Leaving your Kids with a Stranger, Calling your Coworker a Junkie, and Breaking up with your Ungrateful Partner · 38 min · Season 1 Episode 20Holy 20th episode, Batman! Can you believe it? We made it to 20 whole episodes! In this episode, the gang lose their minds slowly (it gets worse over the next few weeks…
- The one thing you DO NOT want to see at the Urinal, and advice on NOT dating your COUSIN · 26 min · Season 1 Episode 19In this episode of Qualified for Nothing, the gang answer your stupid questions YET again! Kim gives us her stance on whether or not you should wait for other people to begin…
- Going to Prison for being too STUPID, Plotting to destroy the Homeowner's Association, and Turning the Social Security Office into a LEGO set · 47 min · Season 1 Episode 18In this week's episode, Kim discusses the ethics behind sending people to prison for being too stupid, Hamish plots to destroy the Homeowner's Association (QFN does not associate…
- Putting your Brother's Wife on a No-Fly List, The real reason Kim isn't allowed to have a Dog, and the Weather that turns you GAY · 43 min · Season 1 Episode 17In this week's episode, Hamish explains the best way for your brother's wife (and probably you) to become an international threat is to frame her for the No-Fly List, Celaine…
- How to Start a Daycare in your Living Room, Having beef with a 13 year old, and the Best Way to Insult Your Mom's Cooking · 41 min · Season 1 Episode 16In this week's episode of Qualified for Nothing, Hamish teaches you how to safely leave your kids at home while you go to work or Egypt or something, Celaine discusses the ethics…
- The gang get distracted talking about urine instead of answering YOUR stupid questions · 49 min · Season 1 Episode 15In this week's episode of Qualified for Nothing, these three ADHD-riddled goofs fail to stay on topic answering your stupid questions. Kim wouldn't let us call this episode "The…
- How to Neutralize a Future Serial Killer, Becoming the World's Gayest Straight Man, and Preventing your Daughter from Going to her Dead Friend's Funeral · 54 min · Season 1 Episode 14In this week's trainwreck, Kim tells us that you should find a way to get rid of your sister-in-law's kid before he inevitably grows up to become a serial killer, Hamish explains…
- A Guide on How to NOT Mother your Son from three people who do not have kids · 31 min · Season 1 Episode 13In today's episode of Qualified for Nothing, three childless friends rant and rave and, despite their tangents, tell you, dear audience member, that the worst way to mother a…
- Destroying your family by forgetting your sister, Inviting the entire world to your wedding, and throwing Red Wine at a Toddler · 34 min · Season 1 Episode 12In this week's episode of Qualified for Nothing, despite what they say, Kim and Celaine don't get married (yet), but instead Celaine talks about the dangers of not inviting…
- Teaching your Baby to Count Cards instead of Cocomelon, What to do when your Mom has an AI Therapist, and grounding your kids for eating Cheese · 33 min · Season 1This week on Qualified for Nothing, Hamish thinks you should teach your 11 month old baby how to count cards and gamble instead of sitting them in front of Cocomelon, Kim thinks…
- Deciding if your Husband needs a day off, Leaving your Disabled Partner and calling your new friend Homeless · 51 min · Season 1 Episode 10In the 10th episode of Qualified for Nothing, the world's greatest* advice podcast, Kim tells us that you should treat your husband to a day off with all of the stresses that…
- Leaving your wife at home for a Wedding, How to tell your kids Harry Potter isn't real, and roasting your friends alive in your truck · 45 min · Season 1 Episode 9Kim explains what happens when your wife gets uninvited from your friend's wedding, Hamish finds out that Santa isn't real, and Celaine tells us the consequences of boiling your…
- Going on a Date with Jeffery Dahmer, How to Poop in the Urinal, and getting Catfished on Match.com · 33 min · Season 1 Episode 8Kim discusses what life would be like with Jeffery Dahmer, Celaine teaches us the best way to ruin a date is by pooping in a urinal and Hamish explains the one time he was a…
- To Shrimp or not to Shrimp, Sending 1000 Ladybugs in the mail, and proposing to your partner THREE times in ONE night · 40 min · Season 1 Episode 7Kim discusses why you shouldn't propose to your partner three times in one night, Hamish teaches you how to send 1000 ladybugs in the mail (you can really do that) and Celaine…
- How to become Portuguese, Listening to Smut with your Coworkers and Rescuing a Topless Woman · 34 min · Season 1 Episode 6Celaine teaches us the best way to become Portuguese, Kim discusses the best way to avoid listening to smut in your car and Hamish debates the ethics of saving people from…
