Relationships Made Easy
by Dr. Abby Medcalf
Latest episode
406. How to Rebuild Self-Trust: 3 Ways to Trust Yourself When Things…
406. How to Rebuild Self-Trust: 3 Ways to Trust Yourself When Things…
About this podcast
The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about.
I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself.
Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily.
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Episodes
The newest 50 of 416 episodes
- 406. How to Rebuild Self-Trust: 3 Ways to Trust Yourself When Things Go Wrong · 45 min · Season 9 Episode 406Have you ever made a decision you felt really good about, until you told somebody else? You thought it through, considered your options, and felt clear about what you wanted…
- 405. How to Trust Yourself Again: Why You Doubt Yourself and Where to Start · 46 min · Season 9 Episode 405Have you ever had that unsettling feeling that you just can't trust yourself? You think something's wrong, but then immediately question whether you're imagining it. You make a…
- 404. Power Struggles in Relationships: Why They Happen with Everyone and How to Stop Them · 50 min · Season 9 Episode 404When you’re in the middle of a power struggle, whatever you’re fighting about feels incredibly important. You can start out disagreeing with your partner about the thermostat…
- 403. Conflict Avoidance: Why Normal Conversations Feel Like a Fight (and How to Tell the Difference) · 1 h 1 min · Season 9 Episode 403A couple years ago I was at Baskin-Robbins with my Gen Z kids, and when my milkshake came out so thick it was basically still ice cream, I asked the young woman behind the…
- 402. Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships: Why You Can’t See Yours (and What to Do Instead) · 52 min · Season 9 Episode 402If you’ve ever been disappointed or frustrated in a relationship, your expectations were too high. Think about it. Disappointment is what happens when you expect one thing and…
- 401. Triggered or Just Upset? How to Tell (And What to Do When Someone Says "I'm Triggered") · 44 min · Season 9 Episode 401It seems like triggers are everywhere these days. Last week at my local coffee shop, I heard someone say they were triggered because they were out of the kind of tea they liked…
- 400. Can One Person Really Change a Relationship? Here's What the Research Says · 40 min · Season 9 Episode 400You've been waiting for someone else to change first - your partner, your mother, your business partner, whoever it is - because you think the relationship can't change until…
- 399. Why You Self-Sabotage When Things Are Finally Going Well · 36 minYou finally get the good thing: the relationship that's steady, the promotion, the friendship that's truly reciprocal, and right when it's working, you pick a fight, or pull…
- 398. Why Your Conversations Keep Going in Circles (And the 2-Step Fix) · 39 min · Season 9 Episode 398You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive…
- 397. Whose Voice Is Your Inner Critic, Really? · 45 min · Season 9 Episode 397Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem is…
- 396. The Mental Load: Why Helping Doesn’t Help · 47 min · Season 9 Episode 396You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is that…
- 395. Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child or Mascot: Which One Were You? · 49 min · Season 9 Episode 395Which family role were you given? Dr. Abby Medcalf on the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot, what the research shows, and how to stop playing yours…
- 394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love · 28 minYou were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then you…
- 393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way) · 44 min · Season 9 Episode 393You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car…
- 392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy? · 46 min · Season 8 Episode 392You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more time…
- 391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love? · 47 min · Season 8 Episode 391Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t…
- 390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags · 48 min · Season 8 Episode 390Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a…
- 389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought · 43 min · Season 8 Episode 389You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The…
- 388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship · 45 min · Season 8 Episode 388That's not fair. You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch…
- 387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner · 40 min · Season 8 Episode 387If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is what it…
- 386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems · 44 min · Season 8 Episode 386You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answer that…
- 385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says · 41 min · Season 8 Episode 385If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so personally…
- 384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On. · 27 min · Season 8 Episode 384There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel guilty…
- 383. Are You Enmeshed or Just Close? Here's How to Tell · 50 min · Season 8 Episode 383Have you ever felt guilty for wanting space? Like needing a little distance from someone you love means something is wrong with you, or with the relationship? Or maybe you've…
- 382. Why You Can’t Stop Comparing Yourself to Others · 36 min · Season 8 Episode 382You’ve tried unfollowing people, making gratitude lists, staying in your own lane. And you still compare yourself to others. So what gives? You can’t stop comparing because you…
- 381. Why You Shut Off Your Feelings (And Why It's Catching Up With You) · 34 min · Season 8 Episode 381You're doing fine. Really. You've got work handled, the relationship seems okay, you've moved on from that fight or that disappointment, and you're not thinking about it anymore…
- 380. The 7 Childhood Experiences That Shape Every Relationship You'll Ever Have · 37 min · Season 380 Episode 8You probably know what an ACE is. Adverse Childhood Experience. Trauma, instability, the things that happened to you that you didn't deserve and couldn't control. Researchers…
- 379. You're Not Overreacting. Here's What's Actually Happening. · 34 min · Season 8 Episode 379You snapped at your partner over something small, and you already know it wasn't really about that. You've gotten defensive with your mom, shut down with your boss, pulled away…
- 378. Stuck in a Situationship? Here's What's Really Going On · 29 min · Season 8 Episode 378I've been quoted in both the Wall Street Journal and Women's Health about situationships, and I’ve been on countless radio broadcasts talking about situationships, so apparently…
- 377. Relationship Anxiety Explained: Why You Feel Insecure Even When Your Partner Is Safe · 27 min · Season 8 Episode 377You can be in a genuinely (or relatively) healthy relationship and still feel anxious. Your partner texts you back, they show up when they say they will, and they're not pulling…
- 376. Why Do I Always Feel Like a Victim? Here's What's Really Going On · 47 min · Season 8 Episode 376Do you ever feel like life is just constantly happening to you? Like, no matter how hard you try, you end up right back in that same exhausting place, feeling small, stuck…
- 375. Are You Codependent or Just a Good Person? Here’s How to Tell · 40 min · Season 8 Episode 375You’re a caring person. You show up. You give. You’d do just about anything for the people you love. So when someone suggests you might be codependent, it stings because, from…
- 374. Is It Love or Limerence? How to Tell the Difference · 35 min · Season 8 Episode 374You know that feeling. You’re going about your day and, out of nowhere, they’re in your head again. You replay a conversation from three weeks ago. You check your phone even…
- 373. Hustle Culture Is Lying to You: Make More Money by Working Smarter, Not Harder · 38 min · Season 8 Episode 373What if I told you that the most powerful thing you could do for your financial life has nothing to do with working harder, hustling more, or grinding until something breaks?…
- 372. Why You Can't Get Out of Bed: Understanding Nervous System Shutdown vs. Rest · 43 min · Season 8 Episode 372If you've been on TikTok lately, you've probably seen "bed rotting," people staying in bed all day, calling it self-care and radical rest. Gen Z is embracing it as a way to…
- 371. Co-Regulation Explained: Why You Absorb Other People's Emotions (And How to Stop) · 42 min · Season 8 Episode 371Have you ever noticed how your partner's bad mood can completely derail your day? Or how when your sister calls upset, suddenly your heart is racing even though nothing's wrong…
- 370. Should You Have Kids or Not? The Psychology Behind One of Life’s Biggest Decisions · 38 min · Season 8 Episode 370Deciding whether to have kids isn’t just a practical decision. It’s one of the few choices in life that can feel irreversible, identity-shaping, and loaded with expectations you…
- 369. Avoidant Attachment: How to Love an Avoidant Partner Without Chasing or Losing Yourself · 41 min · Season 8 Episode 369If you love someone who shuts down, pulls away, or goes emotionally quiet when things get close, this episode is for you. You might feel confused, lonely, or like you’re…
- 368. When Your Partner Needs Constant Reassurance: What Helps and What Hurts · 53 min · Season 8 Episode 368If you love someone who needs a lot of reassurance, clarity, or emotional check-ins, this episode is for you. Today you’ll learn what anxious attachment is actually responding…
- 367. Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Keep Getting Stuck in the Same Cycle · 33 min · Season 8 Episode 367If you’ve ever been in a romantic relationship where one of you keeps reaching for closeness while the other pulls away just when things feel important, this episode is for you…
- 366. Divorcing a Narcissistic Ex: Why It Escalates and How to Protect Yourself and Your Kids · 1 h 11 min · Season 8 Episode 366Most people expect a divorce or breakup to be painful. What they don’t expect is for it to feel strategic, relentless, and never-ending. If you’re separating from someone with…
- 365. Should You Stay or Leave Your Relationship? · 56 min · Season 8 Episode 365How do you know when it’s time to stop trying in a relationship? I get asked this question a lot. How do you know if you’re giving up too soon? How do you know if a relationship…
- 364. You Think Everyone Is Judging You, But They Aren’t · 29 min · Season 8 Episode 364You think everyone is watching you. You think they noticed the weird thing you said. You think they’re analyzing your silence or your laugh or that moment you stumbled over your…
- 363. What to Do When Your Partner Shuts Down in Conflict · 41 min · Season 8 Episode 363Your partner is not trying to ignore you during conflict. Their brain is overwhelmed. In this episode I explain emotional flooding, why it happens, and what actually helps in the…
- 362. They Were There But Not Really: Healing From Neglectful Parents · 49 min · Season 8 Episode 362Ever feel like your parents were there but somehow you still grew up feeling unseen, unheard, or like you had to handle everything alone? In this week’s episode, we’re unpacking…
- 361. How to Stop Freaking Out When Life Feels Uncertain · 29 min · Season 8 Episode 361Your brain treats “not knowing” as danger, which is why uncertainty feels so awful. But you can train yourself to handle it. In this video, Dr. Abby Medcalf breaks down the…
- 360. Why You Keep Getting Triggered and How to Finally Break the Pattern · 38 min · Season 8 Episode 360You swear it’ll be different this time. You’ll stay calm when your mom criticizes you, when your partner walks away mid-argument, or when your friend ghosts you for the third…
- 359. Soothing Yourself First: Why Relying on Others Isn’t the Answer · 52 min · Season 8 Episode 359You always wait. You wait for the phone call from your partner, the text from a friend, the counselor’s time, maybe even your parent’s voice to calm you. But what if I told you…
- 358. Holiday Peace On Demand: What to Do When Family Drama Boils Over · 29 min · Season 8 Episode 358The holidays can bring out the best in us and the absolute worst. One minute you’re sipping cocoa, the next you’re fantasizing about running away from the dinner table and hiding…
- 357. Talk So They Lean In: The 5 Moves for Difficult Conversations · 45 min · Season 8 Episode 357Hard conversations don’t usually blow up because of the issue itself. They blow up because of the moves we make in the moment. You’ve been there: you bring up money, or intimacy…
