The Cult I Left Behind
by Amanda & Kyle Briggs
Latest episode
100 - Goodbye for Now
100 - Goodbye for Now
About this podcast
Newly-ish married couple, Amanda and Kyle, discuss Amanda’s upbringing in the IBLP cult of Duggar infamy – a story Kyle learns about along with listeners. Through sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking stories, Amanda and Kyle explore the cult’s ideology, the strange rules that surrounded Amanda’s childhood, and the abuse she endured before leaving the cult. Through it all, they talk about what it takes to break free from a cult and what gets left behind.
Episodes
The newest 20 of 106 episodes
- 100 - Goodbye for Now · 30 min · Season 1 Episode 100One hundred episodes. Two and a half years. This is the moment when we pause and look back, say thank you, and close this chapter that is so dear to our hearts. Amanda and Kyle…
- 99 - What Kyle Knows Now · 45 min · Season 1 Episode 99We've been crying for days, and we're not done yet. In this penultimate episode, Amanda and Kyle reflect on 2.5 years and nearly 100 episodes of The Cult I Left Behind — what it…
- 98 - Good Girls Don’t Scream · 42 min · Season 1 Episode 98Many of us who were raised to be good little girls are facing some hard realizations these days. This episode is a stark look at the links between cults, high-control religion…
- One-Week Delay · 1 minWe're focusing on our little family this week, but will release back-to-back episodes to make up for the delay. See you in a week! Support the show
- 97 - Fear: The Foundation of Cults · 26 min · Season 1 Episode 97Fear lives in the stories we tell ourselves, the categories we cling to, and the way we decide who is safe and who is “other.” In this episode, Amanda and Kyle examine how fear…
- 96 - Exposure Isn't Change · 45 min · Season 1 Episode 96We’re often told that exposure leads to change. That once harm is named, brought into the light, or made public, something will finally shift. But that hasn’t been Amanda's…
- 95 - Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Gothard, and the Architecture of Abuse · 40 min · Season 1 Episode 95In 2024, as public conversations about abuse, grooming, and accountability unfolded again and again, Amanda found herself watching familiar patterns repeat. These patterns felt…
- 94 - Creating Joy When Life Has Been Heavy · 31 min · Season 1 Episode 94The holidays come with an expectation of joy. For many people, that expectation can feel impossible. In this quiet, honest conversation, Amanda shares a truth she’s been sitting…
- 93 – Am I a Bad Person? (Moral Scrupulosity OCD) · 38 min · Season 1 Episode 93In this episode, Amanda and Kyle dive into moral scrupulosity OCD and how it has shaped Amanda’s life. She shares openly about the intense anxiety and compulsive behaviors she…
- First Family Sickness & Thanksgiving Wishes · 2 min · Season 1We’ll see you next week, when we’re feeling better, for an episode Amanda is so excited to share with you all! We’re grateful for you and we love you guys! Support the show
- 92 - A Day in the Life of a Deconstructing Parent · 35 min · Season 1 Episode 92Sit in on the first conversation Amanda and Kyle have had together about what they’re learning on their journey as new parents. Amanda opens up about lifelong fears around the…
- 91 - Holy Disruptor: Breaking the Silence and the Rules · 59 min · Season 1 Episode 91Amy Duggar King joins us to talk about her new book Holy Disruptor, and she does not hold back. From growing up around the Duggar family and IBLP to setting boundaries and…
- 90 - From Resilience to Resourcefulness: Elizabeth Estabrooks on Trauma Recovery · 1 h 56 minAuthor, veteran, and advocate Elizabeth Estabrooks joins Amanda and Kyle to explore the realities of trauma, institutional betrayal, and what it truly means to heal. Drawing from…
- 89 - Dear Diary, Everything Has Changed · 33 min · Season 1 Episode 89In this episode of The Cult I Left Behind, Amanda once more opens up her old diaries from her time in the IBLP cult and the early days of leaving. She reads while Kyle reacts in…
- 88 - The Time Kyle Acquired the Fire: Shiny Happy People Season 2 Recap · 58 min · Season 1 Episode 88We’re diving into Shiny Happy People Season 2 — and this time, Kyle’s the one with the inside scoop. While Amanda expected to lead the conversation, it turned out Kyle’s past…
- 87 - Chantelle’s Story: From Shame and Control to Healing and Freedom · 1 h 42 min · Season 1 Episode 87When Chantelle was sent to the cult Headquarters as an “encouragement case,” she encountered Bill Gothard’s inappropriate and abusive behavior toward teenage girls firsthand. She…
- 86 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 2) · 1 h 20 min · Season 1 Episode 86In the second half of our conversation with poet Jessica Jocelyn, we pick up where the shocking story of her mom left off. Jessica shares how poetry became a way to make sense of…
- 85 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 1) · 1 h 24 min · Season 1 Episode 85In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, we’re honored to welcome poet Jessica Jocelyn—whose writing has been a healing touchstone for Amanda and may already be familiar to…
- 84 - Sometimes, You Get What You Want · 29 min · Season 1 Episode 83Amanda has gotten a lot of questions about whether she would ever let anyone from her biological family back into her life. For a long time, the answer was no. But then something…
