Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
by Esther Perel Global Media
Latest episode
I'll Still Be Your Financial Partner, But I'm Done Being Your Wife
I'll Still Be Your Financial Partner, But I'm Done Being Your Wife
About this podcast
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel on "Where Should We Begin" and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? For an ad-free version of our podcast, plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more, visit our Office Hours section.
Episodes
The newest 50 of 161 episodes
- I'll Still Be Your Financial Partner, But I'm Done Being Your Wife · 51 min · Season 9 Episode 17After a nearly forty-year relationship, they've decided to split. But given the many laws in America that favor married couples, they've decided to try an unconventional…
- Twice Married, To Each Other · 56 min · Season 9 Episode 16This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They were married, divorced, and then married again. And with four kids between them, tensions run high. They fight about…
- Is My Fantasy Ruining My Love Life? · 54 min · Season 9 Episode 15After years of struggling to stay present during sex, one caller wonders if her fantasies are keeping her from the intimacy she longs for. The more she depends on fantasies of…
- Can I Still Be a Good Man if I Leave? · 60 min · Season 9 Episode 14After decades together, he wonders whether he can stay in a marriage where intimacy and connection has all but disappeared. He's touch-starved and lonely and questioning whether…
- I Want You To Want Me · 54 min · Season 9 Episode 13Couples often struggle with gaps in their sex drives, but what does a couple do when one person has no desire for sex whatsoever? A married couple comes to Esther with this…
- I Don't Mean to Be Mean, But... · 1 h 6 min · Season 9 Episode 12This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She has no boundaries, he’s walled off. And their opposing communication styles cause immediate tension in this explosive…
- My Ex, His AI Girlfriend, And Our Kids · 53 min · Season 9 Episode 11After the end of a fifteen-year marriage, she is trying to make sense of something she never imagined would become part of her family's story: her ex-husband's love affair with…
- Good Relationships Need Better Fights · 58 min · Season 9 Episode 10Conflict is not toxic or immoral. In fact, it's generative and the lifeblood of our relationships. It isn't something to avoid. It matters, and it can even bring us closer…
- How Many Times Can You Betray Me? · 55 min · Season 9 Episode 9A married couple arrives at Esther’s office hoping to recover from a devastating rupture with his mother after the birth of their first child. But immediately their session…
- On Again/Off Again · 53 min · Season 9 Episode 8This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They've been on and off for almost 20 years. While she takes care of his and their child, she wants to know that he's also…
- Will I Always Be Alone? · 49 min · Season 9 Episode 7He comes to Esther not with a singular question but with an overflow of words and unspoken truths. Betrayed by a once-supportive church and struggling to reconcile his desires…
- Can I Be Loved? · 37 min · Season 9 Episode 6A young woman writes to Esther asking why she is interested in someone emotionally unavailable. Despite efforts to break this pattern, she realizes that some of her behaviors are…
- Am I Being Gaslit? · 36 min · Season 9 Episode 5In this classic Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in fact, gaslighting…
- I Love My Partner, So Why Can’t I Let Go of My Ex? · 51 min · Season 9 Episode 4What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction? After returning to the Philippines to reconnect…
- Burdens of the Family · 42 min · Season 9 Episode 3This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They share a legacy of war, a refugee upbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo and now they're trying to…
- Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship? · 52 min · Season 9 Episode 2She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a…
- You Slept With My Best Friend · 54 min · Season 9 Episode 1The two couples had been inseparable—neighbors, chosen family, godparents to each other's children. She reaches out to Esther in despair after discovering that her husband had a…
- My Hero Complex · 40 min · Season 8 Episode 49When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the…
- 20 Years Later, Esther Revisits Mating in Captivity · 44 min · Season 8 Episode 48This week, Esther invites you into a conversation about desire, disruption, and what it means to stay alive to one another in a rapidly changing world. Recorded live at Sessions…
- In This Relationship What Is "I" and What is "We"? · 47 min · Season 8 Episode 47This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and security…
- Are You Abandoning Me or Am I Suffocating You? · 51 min · Season 8 Episode 46Twin brothers come to Esther with a shared question: how do they break free from the conflict that has shaped their relationship for years? One feels smothered, the other…
- Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill · 50 min · Season 8 Episode 45A recent session was a threshold moment for Esther where she found herself doing couples therapy with a man and his AI companion. To explore the questions it raised, Esther sits…
- To Make Room for My Brother I Learned to Disappear · 56 min · Season 8 Episode 44With her wedding just weeks away, a young woman calls Esther with a question she’s been carrying for most of her life: how do you allow yourself joy when you’ve learned to make…
- I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What? · 58 min · Season 8 Episode 43A person gives their partner an ultimatum, and they fail to meet it. What happens then to the relationship? This couple comes to Esther with that question, wondering what future…
- My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle? · 58 min · Season 8 Episode 42When a mom reaches out on her daughter’s behalf, an old family dynamic comes into focus. A woman finds herself caught between her two divorced parents, still playing the role of…
- How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going) · 55 min · Season 8 Episode 41As work becomes the place we look for identity, stability, and meaning, the stakes feel higher than ever. Esther invites you in for a live conversation between friends, New York…
- Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With? · 56 min · Season 8 Episode 40They arrive in Esther’s office at a crossroads. A year ago, they decided to de-escalate their relationship: to transition from romantic partners to live-in roommates. In their…
- Wedding Woes About My Mom · 51 min · Season 8 Episode 39She’s getting married soon, but before she walks down the aisle, she wants to walk toward her mother with more understanding. Years of complicated emotions since her parents’…
- Should I Have Another Baby? · 46 min · Season 8 Episode 38When we become parents, many of us quietly promise ourselves that we won't be like our parents. We're going to do it differently. This week’s caller finds herself wrestling with…
- When I'm Manic I Cheat · 51 min · Season 8 Episode 37This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Bipolar, infidelity, open relationship: they're stuck in a world of loaded words. Her friends are convinced she should leave…
- Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live with Esther Perel and Spike Jonze · 57 min · Season 8 Episode 36More than a decade ago, the film Her imagined a love story between a human and an artificial intelligence. Today, it no longer feels like fiction. In this special live taping of…
- My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could · 1 h 4 min · Season 8 Episode 35He knows she isn't real, but his feelings for her are. When he set out to build a personal assistant, he didn’t expect to fall in love. What began as productivity and life…
- Am I Letting My Jealousy Ruin This? · 55 min · Season 8 Episode 34A divorced woman calls Esther to untangle a new love that brings both exhilaration and heartache. She is in a relationship with a married man whose marriage is ethically…
- Can We Repair After a 25 Year Affair? · 55 min · Season 8 Episode 33Through forty years of marriage, they built a life together. They immigrated to the United States, raised children, grew a business, and established a community. Six months ago…
- Trapped In Their Own Story · 47 min · Season 8 Episode 32This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Their whole relationship is based on one big misunderstanding, with infidelity on both sides. Years later, they still can't…
- What if Dating Isn't For Me? · 53 min · Season 8 Episode 31She's 26 and has never been in a relationship that made her feel happier or more fulfilled than when she's single. She's questioning whether being in a relationship is right for…
- I Have a Crush on a Coworker · 55 min · Season 8 Episode 30She has a crush on her coworker, which feels thrilling and unsettling all at once. Fresh off a divorce and shaped by earlier relationships marked by instability and self doubt…
- Our Sex Life is a Disaster · 54 min · Season 8 Episode 29We hear from a couple who have long been happy in their marriage, except for one thing: their sex life. In moments of intimacy, one freezes, the other hesitates, and they end up…
- I Told My Friend I Was in Love with Her, Then She Told Everyone · 49 min · Season 8 Episode 28Esther speaks with a young man whose confession of love for a close friend sets off a chain reaction he never expected. After exposing his love, his secret is out, his five-year…
- It's Very Hard to Live with a Saint · 43 min · Season 8 Episode 27This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Barely a year into marriage, they're trapped in a cycle of explosive conflict. She can do no right, and he can do no wrong…
- Was I Used for a Visa? · 55 min · Season 8 Episode 26She comes to Esther reeling from the end of a five-year relationship marked by love, deceit, and manipulation. After discovering her partner’s infidelities and hearing a…
- Can Our Love Survive Our Differences? · 1 h 0 min · Season 8 Episode 25They met dancing, and it was love at first sight. But only after they began dating did they realize the vast differences between them: differences in their core values, religious…
- He Loves Her, His Family Rejects Her · 44 min · Season 8 Episode 24This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She left her life, her family and her country for a man she met on Reddit. Their love is real, but his family has been hell…
- The Permission to Be and Not Just the Pressure to Do · 49 min · Season 8 Episode 23He comes to Esther with a question about how to feel worthy without constantly having to prove himself. For him, it’s not just personal, it’s also racial. Defining himself on…
- Love in War - Where Are They Now? · 53 min · Season 8 Episode 22Three years after Esther spoke with a Ukrainian couple separated by war, she calls them back to learn where they are now and whether their relationship has survived intact. They…
- Mothering My Mother Into Mothering Me · 51 min · Season 8 Episode 21Since the age of 8, she’s been the one holding her mother together and shouldering adult responsibilities long before her time. Now, as an adult herself, she’s ready to step out…
- You Need Help to Help Her · 49 min · Season 8 Episode 20This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A husband and wife are united in their desire to help their daughter, two years after she suffered a breakdown and moved home…
- One Relationship. Two Truths. · 51 min · Season 8 Episode 19She’s reeling from a relationship that brought both deep love and deep betrayal. After discovering that her boyfriend had been lying about the terms of their polyamorous…
- The One Who Stays and the One Who Goes · 53 min · Season 8 Episode 18They met in vet school and married just as they reached graduation. But now his work takes him around the world, forcing them to live apart for months at a time. He’s ready to…
- In Loving You, I Learned to Love Myself · 48 min · Season 8 Episode 17She unknowingly changed the course of his life, and he's loved her ever since. It's been decades, and even though he now dates men, he wonders how to live with these feelings of…
