About this podcast
My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships.
Episodes
The newest 50 of 314 episodes
- Will YOU leave? · 25 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I ask myself honestly whether I will leave, and why I stay. My answer matters more than anyone else’s expectations.I recognize the…
- Codependency: Are We Codependent, or Are They? · 23 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I check whether I feel valuable only when someone needs my help.I stop treating need as love. Dependency and emotional reciprocity…
- Who are YOU to your Cluster B? · 18 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I explain that in dysfunctional relationships, partners often adopt predictable roles such as rescuers or peacekeepers.I note that…
- Is the Cluster B a MONSTER? · 19 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I explain that labeling someone with cluster B traits as a monster oversimplifies complex psychological issues and emotional…
- They are who THEY are! · 17 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I explain that survivors often spend years waiting for partners with Cluster B traits to change, apologies to happen, or…
- You ARE being abused! · 24 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Acknowledging abuse in yourself is uniquely difficult.Identify abuse through consistent behavior patterns, not isolated…
- What's YOUR accountability? · 20 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Waiting for an abuser to apologize stalls your healing.Blame looks backward at fault, while accountability focuses on future…
- The Price of Staying with your Cluster B · 20 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Staying in a dysfunctional relationship carries a hidden price paid through lost self-trust, identity, and peace. Chronic…
- Why I STAY · 19 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize that acknowledging dysfunction is the critical first step toward my own healing, even if I am not yet ready to leave the…
- The Cluster B Non-Resolution Pact · 18 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now recognize the “Cluster B Non-Resolution Pact,” a pattern where my arguments are never truly finished and are left emotionally…
- Cluster B Weaponized Compliments · 20 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I need to recognize the pattern of intermittent reinforcement, where positive moments act as a hook to keep me attached to an…
- Cluster B Supply-What are WE supplying? · 20 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I understand that narcissistic supply isn’t just about seeking admiration; it encompasses any emotional energy—including conflict…
- The life YOU keep postponing.... · 17 min · Season 307Send us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I must stop waiting for my partner to change or grant me permission to live my life. I have come to realize that change from a…
- What's wrong with ME? · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I have stopped asking “what is wrong with me” after experiencing abuse, as I realize this shifts the focus from the abuser’s actions…
- Living within the Cluster B Narrative · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Conflicts involve clashing, fluid realities rather than simple disagreements.Explaining or justifying my perspective is futile, as…
- Boundaries? Can you...will you? · 15 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize that boundaries are not tools to control others, but methods to protect my own emotional well-being.I have learned that…
- The Cluster B Invitation · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I know that healthy partnerships rely on “we” conversations, rather than transactional invitations that treat me as an optional…
- My Independence Day Reflection and Message · 6 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I will celebrate my personal independence, not just the public holiday.True independence often begins internally, before external…
- The Shroud of Confusion · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Relationship confusion, especially with cluster B individuals, erodes certainty.Confusion stems from accumulating small incidents…
- 300th Podcast! My Journey with the Flame · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned that for my own true healing, I need to focus on self-understanding, not just on understanding the other person.I’ve…
- Refusing the TRUTH! · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I accept painful truths about difficult relationships, acknowledging denial as a coping mechanism.I understand that “storytelling”…
- Life After the Cluster B · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I choose facing an unknown future over enduring pain in unhealthy relationships.Identity adaptation in Cluster B relationships can…
- Stop Feeding the Cluster B! · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Stop emotionally fueling relationships with Cluster B personalities; my reactions sustain them.My emotional participation was likely…
- AFTER you stop trying! · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I acknowledge my emotional breakdown as a valid signal to disengage from a toxic relationship.I understand that the resulting…
- When you finally stop trying! · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: “Trying” with Cluster B personalities creates an illusion of control, hindering acceptance of fundamental issues and leading to…
- Why are chosen by the Cluster B? · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I used to feel weak after relationships with Cluster B personalities. Now I see my strengths (empathy, loyalty) were exploited, not…
- You can't FORCE love! · 12 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Cluster B individuals often lack the capacity for consistent love and empathy. Trying to force love in these dynamics is futile and…
- The Illusion of Progress with the Cluster B · 12 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I understand that relationships with Cluster B personalities create an “illusion of progress,” with meaningful moments that don’t…
- Why the Cluster B does NOT like you! · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I distinguish between being needed and being loved by Cluster B individuals. Need does not equate to appreciation or love.I…
- The Careful Art of Cluster B Manipulation · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Cluster B manipulation often begins with intense connection, not overt malice.The stages of manipulation (hook, dependency…
- Holding yourself Hostage.... · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I understand the psychological reasons for emotional captivity in Cluster B relationships: hope addiction, intermittent…
- Hidden Scars of Cluster B Abuse · 12 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Emotional abuse causes invisible, yet real, physical and psychological harm.Prolonged emotional instability triggers my survival…
- Understanding CPTSD and Hidden Wounds with the Cluster B · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: CPTSD stems from prolonged relationship distress, not just single events.CPTSD causes internal dysregulation, affecting…
- Cluster B Reality Check · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize relationships with Cluster B personalities often involve falling for an unsustainable story, not a stable person.I…
- Living in the Cluster B MOMENT · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Understand that individuals with Cluster B traits experience life in distinct emotional moments, not a continuous flow.Recognize…
- WHY do WE love? · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: My desire to help in challenging relationships comes from my initial openness and seeing potential, not their current struggles…
- Seeking Revenge! · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I reclaim my power by detaching from the outcome.I stop fantasizing about the abuser’s suffering to break free.I cultivate clarity…
- Am "I" to blame? · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I acknowledge my role in relationship dynamics without self-blame.My empathy and hopefulness made me accessible, not weak.I…
- Grieving the Mask of the Cluster B · 12 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’m grieving a person who never truly existed—the “mask” they presented to me.The mask is a survival mechanism rooted in shame and…
- CPTSD...are you suffering from it? · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: CPTSD from prolonged relational trauma is an adaptation, not a personal failing.CPTSD stems from long-term emotional abuse and…
- Pathological Love: When Love Still Hurts! · 12 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Pathological love is harmful and confusing—not just passionate or imperfect love.In cluster B relationships, love becomes a survival…
- REVEALED! What's really behind Cluster B LOVE? · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: The intensity I felt in early Cluster B relationships was projection, not genuine love.Cluster B individuals seek validation and…
- You CAN'T change a Cluster B's Spots · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I accept that I cannot change someone with Cluster B pathology. I redirect my hope toward my own growth and freedom. Personality…
- Pathological Love with a Cluster B · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Relationships with cluster B personalities won’t develop into typical, stable love.Practice emotional detachment by stopping your…
- When LOVE isn't ENOUGH! · 13 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Recognize Cluster B “Supply” Dynamics: I understand that cluster B individuals view love and affection as “supply,” not nourishment…
- Emotional Sandcastles-Revisited NEW for 2025 · 15 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I build emotional resilience by creating healthy boundaries.I recognize that my Cluster B partner’s behavior is not personal.I shift…
- How does a Cluster B LOVE you? · 16 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Cluster B love is conditional—rooted in need and survival, not empathy.Their “love” is a performance designed to meet their own…
- Dissecting OUR love for the Cluster B · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: My love for my Cluster B wife is real and valid, even though her “love” isn’t healthy or reciprocated.My urge to rescue or fix her…
- A Cluster B Holiday Survival Guide · 16 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’m learning to lower my expectations for holiday interactions with Cluster B individuals.I’m aiming for holiday neutrality rather…
- BONUS PODCAST-The Clownfish Survivor and the Cluster B Anemone · 14 minSend us Fan Mail 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve adapted to toxic environments by developing tolerance to harmful behaviors—a survival mechanism, not healthy coping.I recognize…
